Monica and the City

7 months later...and WOW

2011-08-18T19:24:00.002-04:00

7 months later...and WOW, how things have changed!

This year turned out COMPLETELY different than I had anticipated on New Year's Day.

My EX-boyfriend and I broke up in February. It was just time. The distance fueled the existing issues that had accidentally been brought in from Part 1...and we failed at communicating effectively. It was sad and unfortunate, but it was for the best. I was actually relieved.... like I am after the last 2 break ups in my adult life.... hmmm....interesante. Ha

This year was supposed to be the year to get my stuff together and it didn't happen :-/ I can only blame myself for not making a true plan. So, I am changing things now!!!!

This summer has been wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. A million times better than last summer. I didn't do much last summer and was always missing the ex... so annoying. This summer I have been doing so much and having a great fun time. I owe this to a dear "friend" of mine.

I will try to get back on this. God Bless everyone!

2011 - The year to get my $#*% together

2011-01-03T00:45:00.004-05:00

2011 is going to be a great, yet difficult year. Actually, maybe I shouldn't use the word difficult because, like The Secret teaches, it will be. So,I will change my thought. 2011 will be a great year that I am ready and confident to face and succeed in.

I started writing this entry on the 3rd and now it is the 17th. Most people started readjusting with work and the new year when the new year started, but not I. Abraham was here for 16 days and he just left yesterday. Life was wonderfully normal, a normal that I wish was permanent*. He left and today was my first day without him. Blah. I was pretty productive, but I am missing him. I'm pretty sure that tomorrow when I go into the office and he calls me from his office (in London) I will suddenly get back into what the real normal is - long distance. Luckily, we only have 30 days until we see each other again - yay!

However, this year has a bigger focus - my new job. I was overwhelmed the last 2 weeks of 2010 and the first week of this year. My mind was definitely flooded with thoughts of "ok, I said in the interview I would succeed, sooo now I have to do it," "I said I would be a rock star and noooow it is time to prove myself." Good thing is that I have started this year in a great way (with a couple hiccups) and I really think this week - err tomorrow - I will finally get started with my "normal" schedule. Again - if my regular schedule/life had Abraham in it, it would be fantastic.

I am looking forward to a few events this year. Of course, it is all in God's plan if they will go through or not.
- Christmas 2010 in Houston w/family CHECK
- Abraham's visit in January and staying long enough to celebrate my birthday CHECK
- Visit Abraham in February
- Go to Houston in April for double joy; seeing my family and attending the Desai Wedding Part 2
- Attend Orlando's wedding, which is actually a vacation on the cruise in April!
- Run the Burlington, VT marathon at the end of May
- I hope for a certain visit in June
- Possible trip to Austin for 4th of July weekend
- Possible trip to New Orleans for a wedding in November
- Christmas in Columbia (please please please God!)
and it would be great if...
- I work hard and succeed as much as I want to in my new role
and it would be amazing if...
- My long distance boyfriend found a job here in the city and moved back :-D

This year I would like to finally get in shape OR just realize that I do look good. Haha.... what I mean is... this past Saturday Abraham, Mat (his best friend) and I went to his really good friend's birthday party which was 80's theme. (side note: I have always wanted to do that for my 30th birthday!!! and this party was so much fun that I will definitely do it!) We had to dress 80's and I loved how I looked. LOL... I wouldn't stop smiling or saying "I look adorable!" Haha Anyways, it was a nice feeling to feel so secure in my looks. I know, I know... looks aren't important, but being proud and secure is!

I'm now rambling....(what's new?!)

*I'm not complaining. I am just saying I'm looking forward to it.

BIG Change

2010-11-05T15:53:00.003-04:00

A LOT has happened since my last posting and I will not bore you with the details. But I will share the great things that God has been giving me.

1) Wake up call. My insecurities about the long distance relationship got the best of me and we almost broke up. We didn't because we love each other and really want to be together, so we decided to give it more time and see if I can fix this nasty issue of mine. I think the "almost break up" was a wake up call for me and I finally snapped out of it. There was/is no reason for me to be insecure. Everything about the relationship is great (obvi, minus the distance) and Abraham is a loving boyfriend. Thank goodness I snapped out of it and came back to normal me - happy and confident.

2) I completed my 3rd marathon in Albuquerque, NM with my super close and wonderful friend, Veronica. I arrived a week early to get acclimated, worked virtual, had tons of funny conversations and great times with Vero and her boyfriend, Eddie. The marathon was as tough as expected because I was not prepared and I was having stomach issues. I'm glad to have finished with a smile at the slow time of 4:53 BUT am super proud of myself. I'm looking forward to my next marathon on may 29th in Burlington, VT.

3) I applied for the 3rd time for a job that I really really wanted. It's to be a Client Manager here at the same company. Third time is a charm! I got the job! It's a great promotion and I am excited. This job will be a HUGE change in my life because my current role is very 9 to 5 and not goal oriented. This new role is basically sales and i will be "graded" on what I bring into the company. My dream? To exceed my goals and be a rock star!

4) The BIGGEST change is that I have grown SO MUCH this year. The year started off all weird and sad and confusing and the end is looking pretty damn good. All the challenges I have had so far this year have taught me 2 things that are actually hand in hand. Patience and Faith. Never in my life have I been so patient and so faithful. Never have I really let go and let God. Never have I bitten my tongue or calmed myself down as much as I have this year.

I am so proud of myself!!! And I am so proud of myself because this is a huge lesson to have learned at age 28! I want to remember this and stay this way.

I specifically want to remember...

how relieved I was with the New Year's Eve break up. It sucked because I didn't see it coming, but I wanted it and didn't listen to myself (2nd time I had done this). I want to remember that I was disappointed in myself for not being honest and remember how good it felt when I was "free".
how confident and secure I felt after the break up. I loved myself! I would look in the mirror and be happy. I would pray to God everyday and say thank you!
how I let that confidence slip away and almost ruined something so special to me.
how I feel right this very minute. How good it feels to be patient and calm and to trust God and His plan.

The slips this year all happened because I would somehow lose faith. NO MORE. I am so GRATEFUL.... so grateful. Thank you God!

Too Many Long Distance Relationships

2010-09-14T10:38:00.004-04:00

I just realized that I am in more than just 1 long distance relationship and I have learned even more that I am not good at it. The obvious long distance relationship is the one with my boyfriend, Abraham*, aka Complicado. If you remember from 2008 Abraham had moved to London right after I moved to NYC, therefore, logistically we could only be friends. Well this time around we are in different places in our lives and we chose to go for it and see what the future holds for us as a couple. Well the near future (these 4 months) since May we have been in a long distance relationship. No me gusta. Not one bit. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I sometimes say it is worse than being single with no prospects. I only say that because when you are single you are not longing for one person or missing one person or wishing you were with that one person. You just hope that you will meet someone. In a long distance relationship you just want that one person you are in love with. So I hate it only because we do not get to be together and spend evenings with each other and we are always missing out on each other's lives. What's worse is that we don't know when we will see each other next or even when we will finally be in the same country. (This is when Abraham would say I'm being tivo, which is our word for negative.)

So, this is the obvious long distance relationship.

The other long distance relationship(s) is with my family. They are in Houston and I am over thousand miles away from them. And it can be tough sometimes! Especially now that Olvia is in the picture. Noah, Ava and Leila know me well and when we see each other it's like no time has passed. But I only spent a week with Olivia and I'm not sure if she will remember me when I return to Texas for Christmas.

Crazy thing is that I have cried before for the kids but never have I cried as I did this past Sunday. I miss Olivia so much. She is the sweetest, coolest, smartest 2 year old I have ever met. My sister and her family got sooo lucky to have been able to adopt her. A family couldn't have asked for a better child.

So where am I now emotionally? I was a hot mess on Sunday and Monday, but am feeling better and almost back to normal today. I just keep thinking "umm, why do I have to be separated from the ones I love the most?" I choose to live here in New York and choose to be in a serious relationship with a man who lives in London, so I get that.... but it is still weird or feels unfair.

I need to focus on the good and not the bad. Wait, so I should change the words I use. Here I go again.

I want to focus on the good. Focus on the great blessings of having a new addition to the family and for having a wonderful loving boyfriend. I want to appreciate my wonderful life and not focus on these small factors that aren't the best but still blessings.

My adorable litte niece, Olivia.

The man I have fallen for twice. My wonderful boyfriend, Abraham, on his 30th birthday.

*This is the first time I have named Complicado by his real name.

New chapters

2010-08-16T13:00:00.003-04:00

I can't think of a title for this post because I have tons to say but not sure of what to share. So much has happened in the last few months and I'm very happy and excited about the future but lately I somehow slowed down and am just really enjoying the present.

I just realized that I kind of lied. I know why I'm enjoying the present. Duh.

I haven't really mentioned Complicado being back in my life. I haven't shared details because I kind of feel silly (for many reasons). Being reunited with him was a surprise (for the both of us) and it really has changed the way we expected our year to be. I was not planning on being in an relationship and definitely never thought he and I would be together. He definitely was not planning or ever thought about having me back in his life (at this level). God is mysterious creator of life and its experiences, isn't He?

Complicado still has his nickname but there is no longer a complication on what we are or what we are doing. The only 'complication' is that we are long distance because he is still living in London. So, yes. We are officially together and we have become serious quite quickly. This is why i think long distance relationships are funny.

1. Because your relationship is different and you do not see each other often you don't want to get too serious too fast. BUT because you're an adult and you are committing to a person who lives elsewhere you are taking a serious step.
2. The serious step has many factors to it. Commitment. Communication. Establishing trust at the very beginning. Being secure in your partner and the relationship.
3. Then because you don't see each other when you are together it's like a honeymoon. And you get to experience normal relationship stuff. Watching tv together. Cooking together. Going to the movies. Hanging out with friends.
4. Now that you are being a normal couple you start to get to know each other in the this-is-who-i-am-on-an-everyday level.

So basically, you get serious quickly based upon feelings, chemistry and connection and then start getting to know each other.

Anyways. I'm happy and still very surprised. I am still having moments of "oh my goodness God. You have brought us back together. You straight up answered my prayer 2 years later." And I thank God everyday for this.

I am also thanking God for the giant new chapter in my family's life - Olivia. My sister and Leo leave to China in 2 days to pick up my adopted niece! I cannot believe the time is here. I already have Olivia's picture up at my work desk but it won't be real until I hear from my sister and she says that she and Leo officially have her. Weird! I truly believe that Olivia is going to adjust quickly and beautifully. Lucky us to have a new little treasure join our loving but sometimes crazy family. Lucky us to be given a wonderful gift from God. Lucky us!

I will go home at the beginning of September for 10 days and am hoping that Olivia and I bond. Fingers crossed!

Ok, I'm at work and should be...well, working.

Ah. Figured out the title to the post.

Phenomenal

2010-08-02T17:04:00.003-04:00

So my insecurities got the best of me and I have possibly just messed up BIG time. Ok i did mess up big time but I'm human and I forgive myself because God forgives me and I can only look forward. (Plus, looking backwards is what messed me up...I kind of tripped and had to catch my fall before it got worse). BUT I will not worry or be concerned. I will just turn this around like I have done before and get back to my old self - confident, secure and happy. I do think I am pretty awesome so now I just have to remind myself. I'll be ok. I know it.

What am I going to do?
1) Practice yoga weekly
2) Be my own cheerleader
and most importantly, 3) Pray, pray, pray and trust God

First little pre step. Read my favorite poem.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
-Maya Angelou

WISE words from Steve Jobs & a personal note from me

2010-06-21T10:54:00.002-04:00

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005. It is a bit long and will take a few minutes to read but is completely worth reading! I have highlighted my favorite parts, so even if you want to skim through it you can read, in my opinion, the best parts. There is also another personal note from me at the end.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

I believe in this. I believe in following your heart and doing what will make you happy. As long as you are smart, think it through, reach out to wise people in your life to hear their experiences and advice, pray to God to ask for guidance, and then being confident when doing all this. I know I was supposed to, so I don't regret it, but being in Houston from 2004 to 2008 was a setback for me. No offense to the events, to the relationship I was in, to the job I had. I loved it all. But I was stuck and I knew it. I knew it because I felt it deep inside and I knew because the most important relationships in my life (my family and best friends) were not doing well and/or were not being cultivated on my part. I can go further into this but I won't. When I moved to NYC in 2008 I was doing exactly what I wanted to do and the moment I stepped on that plane a weight was lifted off of me. Then when I ended the relationship I was in, more weight was lifted off of me. Then I made some bad choices which led me to weight gain and heart break - 1.5 times (haha... just being honest)....but then that led me to losing weight, getting back into running, being the most confident I have ever been in life, extremely happy, and in the recent months, looking forward to the unknown future with a a big smile and feeling so calm. Yesterday, I was thinking and thinking and thinking about what if this, what if that...but then I read this commencement speech. I've had this speech printed and in my work bag for weeks now and it wasn't until yesterday that I picked it up to read. It was like God said, "ok monica, time to read that speech." Steve Jobs is right. One has to live for themselves and not for others. (Not talking about being a spouse here.) One has to trust that the dots will be connected and have faith that the outcome will be spectacular. Only thing is that one must be faithful and full of courage and confidence. That's me. So I'm going to keep being confident and do what I want. I have faith in God that I will get promoted when the time and job is right for me. I have faith that I will stay motivated with my running and have a better time in my next marathon. I have faith that I will be fine and happy with whatever outcome I have with Complicado. I have faith that my sister and her husband will have a great trip to China and bring home a happy adorable little girl who will naturally be a part of our family like my other nephew and nieces.

Anyways, that's a just a few thoughts.

"Sometimes good things fall apart so better thing can fall together." -Marilyn Monroe

Let Go and Let GOD

2010-06-16T11:06:00.002-04:00

I like to think I have a very strong relationship with God and I think it is not because I have a lot of faith or trust, I think it is more the feeling of confidence in the actual relationship. Which now I have realized is faith and trust. Ha! What I think is annoying is that even when God is only blessing me I am able to still find something to complain or worry about. So why is that I am confident in my relationship with God, I trust God that everything will be just fine (more like great), and as He is answering a very specific prayer, I am still capable of having negative feelings? I think that is awful. Yes, I am human but it's no excuse. I'm not new in this life as a Christian. Sure we have our moments or funks but I am disappointed that I let myself feel negative. Especially when the feeling lingers for more than a few hours.

These last few days I have been talking to a good friend about trusting God and "Letting go and letting God." And we've been talking about the law of attraction and self fulfilling prophecy. I personally think trusting God and the teachings of the Secret can be intertwined. In both you are being positive and trusting a higher being that you will get what you need, want, desire and work for.

So! After a couple of days of processing, praying and talking to a couple of people I woke up this morning back to being me. Positive, enthusiastic, happy and cheerful. And God even threw out 2 tests this morning! First, I woke up with a huge swollen upper lip around 5 this morning. I laughed, took an advil, iced it and went back to bed. Second, the train before mine derailed, so it caused commotion, I was an hour later to work, but could have arrived sooner if I chose not to help and stay with a grandma who was completely confused. I arrived to work with a smile and thinking "my goodness... i made it!"

I cannot complain about anything in my life. I definitely have a list of things that can be complained about but there is no point because life is still FULL of blessings. I've decided that I am going to focus on the good and give God any negative feeling, concern or frustration that I may have. And of course be thankful for what I do have.

From Rapper T.I.
"Stop lookin' at what you ain't got, Start being thankful for what you do got"

Happy Wednesday!

Umm...

2010-06-03T15:00:00.002-04:00

I couldn't think of a title so there you go.

I am very frustrated with work right now. I still love the company and my teams, but I am no longer happy in this position because I am not being challenged, not learning anything and I'm not a priority to my leaders so I am basically neglected. I have started looking at other jobs in the company and will apply when I find roles that interest me. A problem is that what interests me are roles that are client facing and there are not that many positions, so I would have to be patient. I shouldn't focus on just one kind of role and be more open minded. Thank goodness for my handful of colleagues/friends that I trust with their career advice on advancing at the company.

You know how I've been extremely happy for the last few months? And full of confidence? Well, it has increased. Or maybe it's that I feel more complete. Why? Fate happened and God had a funny little plan for me.

Complicado is back in my life.

We are thankful for the crazy volcanic ash in April.

Vancouver Pictures

2010-05-21T13:11:00.003-04:00

The airport was beautiful!

The 2010 Winter Olympics Torches

Capilano Suspension Bridge

While standing onthe bridge

Vero on the bridge

Breakfast at Blendz (coffee shop)

At Stanley Park

Ready to run the marathon!

Adult Slumber Party

2010-05-17T08:46:00.003-04:00

The Ragner Relay was AWESOME! The team ran 186 miles in 26 hours.

It was different from anything I had ever done before
It was stressful at times
It was challenging
There was a lot of laughter
There was barely any down time
I slept on concrete
I changed in front of my team that I had just met earlier in the week
I was the slowest runner because the team was made up of super fast and advanced runners
I ran for the first time ever at night time
My average pace was about 9:45
The hills were BRUTAL but I took them with strength and killed them
I can't wait until next year!

Adult Slumber Party

Ragner Relay 2010

Ragner Relay

2010-05-13T18:01:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow I will be running with a group of runners in the Ragner Relay. It's a relay run where we "pass the baton" until we reach NYC (or kind of). The total amount of miles is somewhere in the 100's, but I will only run 11 or 12 miles within 25 hours.

I have 3 legs to run.
1st - 3.2 miles sometime Friday afternoon
2nd - 5.8 miles sometime in the 10 o'clock hour of Friday night and on a trail!
3rd - 3 or 4 miles sometime Saturday morning

Our team is divided into 2 large vans where we will rest, sleep, eat, chit chat, etc until we reach the finish line. I think it will be a lot of fun :-) I only really know 2 people (colleagues) but everyone else is nice and outgoing, so I'm sure I will feel comfortable.

I am so happy that I am a real runner and marathoner. Running is like therapy because it usually is a meditation mechanism.

Well, we'll see how much meditation I actually get done in this relay. I'm guessing NONE. Haha. Wish my team and I luck.

http://www.ragnarrelay.com/

Vancouver

2010-05-10T09:20:00.002-04:00

I HEART Vancouver!

Veronica and I had a WONDERFUL time in Vancouver. Any person who has been to Vancouver and knew I was going told me that it was beautiful, but I obviously did not (could not) know until I got there. I took pictures of the airport! Hello! The airport. I was adventurous and took the train to Downtown where the Four Seasons Hotel is located. Yeah, we stayed at the Four Season :-) And me gusto. The only problem with staying there is that it tricks you into thinking you have more money than what you actually have. I arrived a couple hours after Vero and when I walked into our room our talking began. And it lasted.... until we said went our separate ways Monday morning at the airport. Seriously, how did we talk for hours and days and not get annoyed or bored or have nothing else to say. I think that is the beauty of some friendships. We did a lot of walking but rested enough so we would be ready for the marathon on Sunday.

We did AWESOME. Our time was 4:46, a 30 minute improvement from our first marathon :-) That is huge! We could have had 4:30 BUT I had 2 restroom breaks and we slowed down around mile 20. We learned what each other's strengths are, so we should be be able to make an even better time in our next marathon OR choose to separate. The latter will be unfortunate because crossing the finish line with Vero was a great bonding experience full of joy and excitement. We both recovered very well and were "just a bit sore" by Tuesday. All in all, we rocked it because we're the BIZOM!

The next marathon is October 17th in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where Vero lives. The 4th marathon will be in Disney World on January 9th. We're true marathoners and we are so proud of ourselves.

Here are some of our running mantras:
- Pain is temporary, pride is forever
- Just Run Bitch
- We got this!
- Marathons ain't got shit on me

Ok, so 3 are ghetto..... but I am from the dirty south and i like humor AND they do help.

Bootylicious

2010-04-20T09:25:00.003-04:00

Lorena and Adriana visited this past weekend and I had so much fun with them. The last time I saw them was before I moved! I was exhausted when they left on Sunday (and hungover) but at least Carolina was still hanging out with me for the afternoon. Once she left I was all alone and it was nice to have my space back (i.e. can be in just my panties and tank top) BUT I got all sad cuz I went from great company to no company. I almost asked Carolina if I could go hang out with her and Neil but realized I shouldn't because she spent all day Saturday with us girls, so pobre Neil didn't get to spend time with her. I did have to go to Phil's (Krista's boyfriend) place because I left my cell there and I would have stayed to hang out but I had to get home to relax.

So Monday I was all sad and felt lonely. Even coming into work didn't help :-/ I skipped spinning and went straight home to finish reading the book "Wifey" by Judy Blume. I finished it while having the movie "The Proposal" on in the background. That movie is so funny.

I finally went to bed around 10:30 but couldn't fall asleep so I just laid there thinking. Thinking the same topics over and over again. A glimpse into my mind....

Damnit. I've gained 5 pounds and all I want to do is eat and I guess it's ok because I have the marathon coming up and my running makes me hungry. But what if I don't lose it so easily. Shit. No, it'll be ok. I will lose it cuz I'm so going to go hard core. No carbs. No sugars. No alcohol. Wait, no. I want alcohol. Ok, so no carbs or sugars and only lean proteins and lots of veggies and fruits. And work out like a psycho and workout hard core with Lauren. 100 lunges a day! no 200! How many abs workouts? Hmm.. I'll ask Lauren. OMG. Can I get promoted? Dangit. Ok, so God what's the plan? I mean, you basically told me in my horoscopes that I would get promoted and my friend with the same bday did, so why not me? Ok, I know, I do trust you. I'm working at it. yes, I have 2 informational interviews tomorrow. Ooo, i'm going to wear my new pencil skirt. Size 2! Awesome! So I wonder when I will be promoted. Yes, yes,yes... be patient. I will be patient. I just want to be challenged and make some real cash! I want to get a bonus and pay off debt and take my parents to Espana. Ugh... spain. Ooo, the tapas we had this past weekend were so good. Aww... Complicado. I'm man crazy. Officialy, man crazy. No, it's more like I'm just hungry for more. Which is weird because I feel so happy and content. So crazy how I have all these crazy thoughts. How do I miss Complicado over Pandora? My mind is just being silly. I just don't miss Pandora....huh. Do I? No, i don't. Maybe cuz why waste my time cuz he doesn't miss me. So why miss Complicado? He is more likely not thinking about me than Pandora. hahaha... I am so dumb. Can I just fall asleep? I really hope Mary brings me those books tomorrow. Oh! I have to remember to reserve the Chelsea Handler books at the library. Must. Ugh... work. I was so not productive today. But just because the work is not challenging it does not mean I can be lazy. Ok. Tomorrow I will be productive. And look pretty with the striped shirt and new pencil skirt.

That was a glimpse in how my mind works. Exhausting huh? I finally fell asleep at some point and slept like a drunk girl until I had a random dream and it woke me up at 5 in the morning.

At 7 when I officially woke up I jumped out of bed and prayed out loud. I decided that I would no longer be sad without company. I will be confident and happy and smile and be cheerful like I usually am. I looked in the mirror and said I was beautiful. I didn't weigh myself because I chose to think I look good regardless of weight. I quickly washed the dishes and made coffee. I jumped in the shower and took my time just standing there. I danced around a bit to my Jennifer Lopez station on pandora.com. I put on my pencil skirt and thought I looked great then the song from Destiny's Child "Bootylicious" came on and my confidence skyrocketed. Haha!! So I left my apartment full of confidence with a big smile. It's awesome.

Moving on...

2010-04-11T19:34:00.002-04:00

The good thing is that the unfortunate news did not dampen my weekend.

Because of my planned training run of 20 miles Saturday morning I had to rest on Friday. Thankfully, the weather was GREAT and the run was nice. It could have been better, but I did just fine and ran 10 minute miles. It's so fulfilling to be able to accomplish so much in one morning. I love knowing that my body and mind are able to partner up and run 20 miles or for 3 hours plus.

The only bad thing about these long runs is that you are out for the day. I rested for hours! The day was beautiful and I was stuck inside icing my knees and feet, stretching, napping, drinking fluids, etc. I did hang out with friends later in the evening though.

My friend's friend, asked for my number to "go out for drinks sometime, just the two of us." I had to give him my number. Not that I don't want to be friends with him - sure I do, he is nice and I can have pretty good conversation with him. But, I am not into him, I'm just not. The funny thing is that there is another friend who is not my type, but I am so intrigued by him. I don't know what it is. I hope to hang out with him more. Hahaha.... too bad he is not the one who asked for my pinche number.

Sunday was nice too. I surprisingly woke up early enough to go to church (thank goodness). The sermon was great and brunch with church friends was nice too. I then, out of nowhere, did some major damage. I bought a few groceries at my favorite grocery store that is in my old neighborhood; went to Macy's and bought a purse, shoes, and a skirt; then to JackRabbit (a running store) and bought new running shoes (HAD to!) and some new running capris (also needed). Yikes. No more shopping for this WHOLE month!!!

I have the Vancouver trip right around the corner and want $ for it, so I must be strict with my spending!

Now I must get hardcore to my new cover letter for the new position I am going for. I will apply tomorrow.

Rejected... Part 2 of 2010

2010-04-09T15:24:00.002-04:00

I finally got the news! I did not get the job :-( The GREAT thing is that I was given extremely positive feedback and told it was a tough decision to make. The deciding factor was experience and the person hired has a whole lot more. I just got some insider info and the chosen person is actually being demoted from their current role here at the company to be at this one. Obviously that was a personal decision.

So - part of the great feedback is....
- The hiring leader knew I would do well at the interview but that I exceeded expectations.
- The leaders think I have GREAT potential and will DEFINITELY have a great future here at this company.
- I'm a rock star and am being noticed by many.

Yesterday, before learning I was not chosen, I found another open position that I am very interested in. During lunch I decided I would apply and after lunch found out I was not chosen, so I will apply today.

Thanks everyone for your great support and prayers!

Moving on now! Let's see what God has planned for my career this year!

Oh, I did realize that this is my 2nd time being rejected this year :-( That's ok though. It only makes me stronger - and actually, a bit mad, which gives me more strength and determination. Haha...

Ummm......

2010-04-08T08:55:00.002-04:00

I'm still waiting. The suspense!

moving on....

I got home yesterday and quickly changed into my running gear and headed off to Central Park. I ran 5 miles at a slow pace. When I got home I couldn't believe how red my face was. Central Park was packed of runners, cyclists, rollerbladers and picnickers. The warm weather brings everybody from inside to out.

It is so weird how I am fine, just running or going about day and then I get sudden chest 'pains' from the idea of being single. So odd. Dating can be fun and especially crushing on someone or making out. But when no one asks how your day was or compliments you or just gives you kisses, it kind of sucks. This is my face right now as I am typing :-/

Hahaha.... so stupid I know, but it's the truth. Do not misread this and think I'm sad or depressed. I'm not. That is why it's weird. How I am happy and feeling great and I get these moments of 'shit. i'm back at square one. what if i never find a partner i love or who i will want to marry?' I even think this.... and this way out there.....'shit. i want a baby. who am i going to have a baby with?' hahaha..... I only get that scary feeling when I see a cute pregnant woman.

I started reading Steve Harvey's book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. It is GOOD. I (and many women) already know a lot of what it teaches, but the book confirms it and teaches even more.

Ok, the work day has begun.

Yes or No? Just tell me!

2010-04-07T08:52:00.002-04:00

I still have not heard about the position I applied for here at the company. Bah! I have not been anxious this whole time and suddenly yesterday I began to feel anxious :-/ So I ate a million cookies and regretted it right after. (stupid of me)

Weird thing is that I feel real good about it and I know great things are coming my way. Not necessarily that I will get this job (although I do have a strong feeling and I don't know why, maybe because I feel so ready?), but that I will move on from my current position. Not that I do not like what I do because I do love my teams, but I am ready to be challenged and to reach my full potential.

Lately, my horoscopes have been talking about a career opportunity or change. AND a friend of mine who shares my birthday has recently been promoted so I feel like if our horoscope is true for him, then wouldn't it be for me too?

Yesterday's horoscope:
A new professional opportunity beckons, but you may not be ready to change course just yet. Friends are encouraging.
My thoughts: Yes, I'm scerred, but I am ready! And everyone who knows about this has been extremely encouraging. Actually, I have never been this much encouraged before. To this extreme that is.

Today's horoscope:
You're making some assumptions that are keeping you from getting to the bottom of a personal mystery. The truth is nearer than you think.
My thoughts: I began to feel a bit negativa yesterday and ate the million cookies. That was me making assumptions. Is today the day? Yesterday I started making assumptions about something else too, but that will remain a mystery for you at this present time.

Monthly Forecast had these statements:
- Responsibilities have been mounting and you seem to be in a phase where the nature of your job is about to change, and you will be asked to learn new skills and to aim toward higher standards.
- Recently, at the very end of March, you saw exciting - if not daunting - career opportunities emerge.
- No matter what you face in your career, you are ready to tackle something new, for your chart shows it's time.
My thoughts: Hello!!! This forecast has "promotion" written all over it! I must add that the monthly forecast has been RIGHT ON this year so far. It specifically said I would go through a big break up on the New Year; like the actual day. And that was right.

So let's see what happens. PLEASE God....Please

17 miler

2010-04-05T06:50:00.004-04:00

This weekend's weather was GORGEOUS! I had to run 17 miles and it so easy. I am so proud of myself. It was easy because of the weather, but also because of my running partner. We had a great pace and talked the whole time.

I had a nice weekend. Friday I was home early relaxing like I had the long run the next morning. Saturday in the late afternoon I met up with Sandra/Hieu, Victoria/David, Alexis, and Dave to watch the first semi-final March Madness game. I was asleep by midnight and up early for church on Sunday.

Church was GREAT. The sermon was titled "The Dead Don't Dance" and the lesson was GREAT. And even though it was about Jesus, faith, who you are surrounded by, it was related to dating for me also. After church I met up with Sandra/Hieu and Victoria/David at the Hat Parade in front of St. Patrick's Cathedral. The Hat Parade was cool and I enjoyed it.

Unfortunately, I ate a lot of bad food after the run :-( I will excuse myself for this past weekend but cannot do that again. Especially after the marathon! After the marathon I will go hardcore in fitness and nutrition to lose a few more pounds, get firmer and be more bikini ready.

Today I have Jury Duty! It's my first time to be summoned here in NYC.

15 Miler

2010-03-29T09:07:00.002-04:00

In my last posting I wrote that I would run 16 miles on Saturday, but when I checked my schedule I saw that it was 15 instead. My running group travelled up to Westchester to run at some pretty park but after thinking about it, I chose to run alone in the city. I just didn't feel like having to wake up even earlier to get on a train and then have to get back on that train to come back home. I left my apartment at 7:50 AM and returned 2.5 hours later. I ran slower than usual. I didn't feel 100% and I'm not sure why. I chose to run easy and not push myself because I had to complete the 15 miles no matter what.

Like I ran alone I took my iPod and of course, left the volume low enough so I can hear what's going on around me. I impress myself with the distance but even more so when I get into the zone. I am not thinking about running or the distance or how I feel. I just get into a zone where I am running well, meaning good posture, holding in my core, shoulders down and back, breathing right, etc. When in the zone I am thinking about nothing or having random thoughts. When you run 15 miles you have a lot of time to think and ponder. AND what is so exciting is that I barely thought about my ex! Ok, barely thought means I did think about him a few times BUT it wasn't anything negative. Not "he's stupid" or "why?".... it was only reminiscing on good times , think that it was sweet, and then think about how I am not damaged like I thought before.

I thought a lot about my parents and how awesome they are and my sister and Leo and how they love each other so much. I was imagining myself in this new role I want and pictured my bank accounts with more money. I imagined receiving a fat bonus and taking my parent's to Spain. I imagined my figure rocking like Beyonce's.

And every time the song Empire State of Mind would come on I would feel excited and proud of myself. I love NYC so much and I have totally made my life here. I'm so happy.

Then when I got home I was pleasantly surprised with 2 cards my sister and the kids sent me for Easter. Oh! And finally my accent chair arrived so my living room has more seating now. Now I just need to find the right mirror to hang on the wall above my couch.

I'm looking forward to see what this week brings me.

Me Gusta

2010-03-26T09:55:00.002-04:00

I have been feeling so great since Monday. I am in a great, happy, confident zone and I just want to bottle it up like water or take a picture of it and blow it up to poster size or make a perfume of it.... so somehow this zone will always be available when I need it.

I had an interview yesterday for a job here at the company (I will try to never leave because I love it here) that would basically be a promotion. I WANT IT. I AM READY. I WANT TO WIN WIN WIN. and... I REALLY WANT MORE MONEY.

Request: Please pray for me, send me good vibes, and visualize me in the new role.

Towards the end of February and beginning of March I gained 5 pounds because my sweet jaw got out on control. I finally put a stop to it and have already lost 3 pounds, so I'm good. I am happy with how I look but something inside is making me want to look better. So I'm waiting for that spark to explode so I can get even more serious.

To help with my figure, my career.... my confidence and need for high self esteem I will be making my new visualization frame this weekend. I'll take a picture of it and post it here next week.

Be Peace.

Tomorrow I will be running 16 miles!

A month later

2010-03-23T09:13:00.004-04:00

So I've been super busy at work, running a lot, eating a lot of sweets... having more good days than bad. I have been knowing that Pandora and I are over - obviously. But he was still very attached and wanting to spend time with me. We finally kind of a put a stop to it - the whole "we're friends" thing. THEN something stupid happened and I was basically slapped in the face. That was the last straw for me.

I would love to be friends with him and I still care for him and wish him the best, blah, blah, blah..... but I cannot be friends now. I do think it can happen sooner than later though. Which is so weird because I have never stayed friends with an ex because "we were never just friends anyways." Anyways.... we'll see what I decide in the future.

So some people may think I should take time to myself and be single and enjoy life alone. Yes, true. But I'm 28 and I hope to find love one day and possibly get married and have a child. So, I will waste no time. Am I ready (or looking) for a boyfriend? Hellz nah. I will date. I will meet people. And I will go out and mingle. And I will keep working on my fitness and look better and better. And I will keep my goals of completing marathons and tris. And keep working on my career.

When it comes down to it I am a independent, somewhat successful, social, have big goals, is attempting to better myself, etc, etc.... It's not like I need a man. I want a partner. I love relationships and I love loving and I love affection.

And most importantly, I love myself. I love myself a lot. I love God too. He's been making me pretty upset this year and we've been arguing a lot, but don't all relationships have these rocky moments?

I am intelligent. I am beautiful. I'm a loving person. I have a big heart. I am hard worker. I a good friend. I am good daughter, sister and aunt. I have the ability to be an amazing partner. All in all, I am a phenomenal woman.

And a selfish, ungrateful, irresponsible person can't take any of that away from me.

Soundtrack of my Life

2010-02-24T21:48:00.002-05:00

I LOVE Alicia Keys. I love her voice, her lyrics, the production of her songs, her talent, the way she looks.... she's stunning. Absolutely talented (and it's kind of unfair). Funny thing is that if I had a soundtrack of my life's experiences and special memories, many of her songs would be on it. In her current album there are 2 songs that I completely relate to. One is bigger or more important.... those aren't the words I want to use... but you get it. That song is Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart.

Obviously, that is how I kind of feel at the moment because of the break up. When we first broke up I couldn't sleep so I had to take some OTC sleeping pills - they worked. That only for the beginning and since have been sleeping just fine. For the most part.

I'm doing well and am back to my normal self. For the most part. Haha.... no, I am, but I am angry. Angry that it didn't work and angry that Pandora is kind of an idiot. BUT, I don't want to go there.

Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

Alicia Keys

Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me
And even at the bottom of the sea
I could still hear inside my head
Tellin' me, touch me, feel me

And all the time you were tellin' me lies

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well, you could try sleeping in my bed

Lonely, own me nobody ever shut it down like you
You wore the crown
You made my body feel heaven bound
Why don't you hold me
Near me, I thought you told me
You'd never leave me

Looking in the sky I could see your face
And I know right where I fit in
Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love
With you
Right til the end OOh

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Anybody could've told you right from the start
It's about to fall apart
So rather than hold on to a broken dream
Or just hold on to love

And I could find a way to make it
Don't hold on too tight
I'll make it without you tonight

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

2 Year Anniversary

2010-02-18T19:28:00.003-05:00

The 17th of February was my 2 year anniversary of living in New York City. I can't believe it has been 2 years already. My feelings are mixed about this milestone.

1. Already 2 years?!?!?!

2. I've made it! I live and work in this city where I had dreamed about since I was a child.

3. I'm so comfortable and happy that it feels like it has been longer than just 2 years.

4. Wow. I haven't seen some friends in 2 years. That's a long time.

5. I miss the kids. A lot.

6. I can't picture myself living anywhere else right now. Especially Houston.

This year has already been one crazy roller coaster ride. Huh. I just noticed that since moving here I've been on a roller coaster. I feel like recapping but I won't. Maybe it's more like I keep getting on a roller coaster, getting off, seeing another, and getting on. Sheesh... can I calm down?

No. Because this is more fun.

I am very happy in my new place. I have a full one bedroom apartment with a small patio in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. I was able to to furnish it and little by little this apartment has become my new home.

Work is going well and I'm busting my ass. I have been so busy and going in early and leaving late. Work is nice to focus on when one is trying to not think about other things (err, the break up).

I am doing really well though with the break up though. I have my moments where I think Pandora is an idiot. I have moments where I think damnit. Then I have moments where I think gosh, I'm so awesome and my future is going to be full of awesomeness. Haha

I have been hearing from friends that I need to update more often, so I will. Starting today. I will update again tomorrow. And work on my new NY blog also.

Peace.

Ahh!!! What a start to 2010!

2010-01-19T15:01:00.003-05:00

So much to say, so behind, and now so busy! I will keep this short and to the point.

Carlos and I broke up. I am grateful for his honesty to himself, to me and to us. He had a revelation and to be honest, I understand and agree. (And had my own revelation this past Friday). We are a great couple for many reasons; one of my favorites is that we are always having fun because we are both very silly, but have now come to realize we are meant to be friends - not a couple who is going to get married.

I am still living in his apartment and am waiting for a final approval for the apartment I want. He and I are doing fine. We are roommates who do things together like running errands, watch tv, talk, etc. The big difference is that we are no longer a couple and are not being affectionate. Affectionate as friends, yes, but not as a couple. We decided that we can be like Ted and Robin on How I Met Your Mother (without the "incident"). And if we are friends after I move out that will be big for me because I don't believe in being friends with ex's. There will be a months of space though...I mean, we have to give that to each other.

I was real sad and I am thankful to those who were supportive. What a blessing to have such wonderful people in my life who care for me and love me. This past Friday I got over the emotional mountain and am fine. I do get sad at moments because we didn't work out and I'm going to miss him, but I know everything will be just fine.

I'm nervous about dating, but not living alone (I enjoy having my own space). I'm very excited about my new place and my new neighborhood, but will miss my current location. I'm nervous that I won't laugh as much cuz Carlos had me laughing a lot.

Before the break up I had a good feeling that 2010 would be a great year for me. I still believe it. It started out rough but I trust God and have a lot of faith that my path is heading in a positive direction. My plans of working harder and excelling in my career are still on. My plans on training and running my second marathon is still on (with a small set back of injuring my foot but I'll be fine). My plans for getting into better shape are still on (good like I am single now..heehee). My financial plans are still on.

I think that I can find a Mr. Right in the future. For now though, I will focus on my goals, but if I am asked out on dates by handsome gentlemen I will most likely accept. ha!

I am very grateful for my relationship with Carlos. I learned some HUGE things about myself - huge! (I will talk about that in a later post) And I'm grateful for Carlos for being such a sweet, loving, caring, generous, honest boyfriend. We both think that it's real nice that we can't say bad things about the relationship.

The Pandora chapter has now ended. The next chapter is now beginning.... I think I will call it Year 3 like my third year will start in a few weeks.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

oh - and Happy Birthday to me (on the 12th of this month. I turned 28!)

My New Blog

2009-12-29T15:47:00.003-05:00

I started my new blog about visiting NYC. I don't want to say it is geared towards families with children only, but I think the focus will kind of be. I'm not sure yet. It will take a few phases to figure out how I will organize the information.

Please add it as a blog you follow and pass it on to your friends!

http://nyccheatsheet.blogspot.com/

I have many, many ideas BUT want to hear yours. What questions do you have? Concerns about visiting? Tell me and I will add it to my blog. Gracias!

I HEART the big apple!

Christmas and something new

2009-12-28T17:48:00.007-05:00

My family visited for the week of Christmas. It could have been better (less stress, screaming, blame...more patience from me would have helped) BUT it was great. I had a wonderful time with the kids and miss them already. The trip was first just my parents visiting, then my bro-in-law decided they should come too. I was very excited because it was the first trip to NYC for the kids. The visit revolved around Noah and Ava to make sure they saw as much as possible. I mean, I had to show how great and fun this city is.

My parents arrived last Monday and left this morning. Carlos and I took them to Buenos Aires, a favorite restaurant of ours and they enjoyed the food. Carlos left the next day to DC to be with his family so that helped with my parents being a bit embarrassed in staying at our apartment. No reason for them to feel like that but I guess the whole me living with a guy is still weird and new for them like they don't see it on a daily basis.

Cathy and the kids arrived on Tuesday in the afternoon and Leo arrived in the evening. They stayed at a colleague's apartment for a small fee (win-win deal) on the Upper West Side. The apartment is a cozy one bedroom and the needed items were available (bed, sofa, air bed, blankets, extra heater, etc). The only problem is that it is a walk up. That means no elevator. They had to walk up 4 flights. Trust me, MANY New Yorkers do this on a daily basis. Next trip I am sure they will prioritize an elevator.

The kids were sooooo good - like always! No complaining, no crying, no fuss. No surprise for any of us. Even though they were so good I would get nervous or frustrated when we would get into a crowded subway platform or train. And the jogger stroller was so annoying! It obviously helped, but I am used to being so independent and running around the city so quickly, so it got frustrating for me.

We went everywhere! Union Square Holiday Market, Times Square, Toys R Us, Serendipity, the Staten Island Ferry, Dylan's Candy Bar, Radio City Music Hall, Rockefeller Center, Bryant Park, Queens, Central Park.......so many places. And we still missed things. I wanted to take the kids to see the stars at the Time Warner Building - didnt happen. I wanted to take them to Crumbs, a favorite bakery of mine - didnt happen. I wanted to take my parents to park called the High Line - didnt happen. But I will eventually take them.

On Christmas Eve, my parents and I went to my church and they really like the service. We then met with the Condes for dinner and headed back to my apartment afterwards. We opened presents and had some nice conversation. On Christmas day we went to Radio City Music Hall to see the Christmas Spectacular and the famous Rockettes. It really was spectacular! That night Ava and escaped and watched the Princess and the Frog. The movie was sooo good!

So the stress I experienced was with me not being prepared to be the expert of the city. My sister had a lot of questions and concerns and I couldn't help with all.

What did I learn? That parents can get very overwhelmed with NYC when visiting with children. DUH! Who wouldn't?! So I am starting a new blog. I learned soooo much with this visit and I have done some research and surprisingly, am not finding the tips/help that parents should read before visiting this wonderful city. I won't be no Julie/Julia blog but I hope you pass this new blog along to your friends to help with their future trips to NYC. Once I have the URL I will post it.

I want to the Thank God for giving safe travels to my family and a nice visit.

December

2009-12-07T11:19:00.002-05:00

I didn't make one post in the whole month of November. :-/ Well, I'm back now and have plenty to write about.

Thanksgiving was a blast! I spent it with friends and we had yummy food, lots of wine and whole lot of laughter. It was so much fun and at the end of the night it was kind of sad that it was over. We are all "displaced" New Yorkers, meaning our families are in other states and we all chose to stay for Thanksgiving.

In the beginning of November I signed up for my 2nd marathon! I will be running in the Vancouver Marathon on May 2nd. I am participating in Team In Training again and this time I will be running in honor of Katherine Marsh. She is an adorable 4 year old who was diagnosed with leukemia almost 2 years ago and her mother is a childhood friend of mine. I will also be running in memory of my brother-in-law's father, Hugo, who passed away from lymphoma 2 years ago. My goal is in 2 parts. One, to raise $5,000 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and two, to completed the marathon. So far, I have raised $750 with barely trying :-)

This second time of training will be different. The first time I followed the training schedule in order to be prepared for the big day and to complete the marathon. I succeeded. This time I will work even harder and not just finish, but improve my time. Because I am in pretty good shape and am stronger and leaner this time around I think I will achieve my goal.

I chose Vancouver because I hear it is beautiful, it will be awesome to run an international marathon, and it will be shortly after the winter Olympics. I am excited for all those reasons but am also excited because my good friend, Veronica, will run it with me. She is training in New Mexico and we're are running buddies via email :-) Hopefully we'll be able to run together at the marathon. Good thing is that we are both are very honest with each other and have already promised that if one of us wants to run faster and go ahead that will be fine with the other. I will definitely start posting about my marathon training.

I am SO EXCITED that my family will be here for Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So EXCITED!!!!! What a great blessing it will be!

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving and are looking forward to the Christmas holidays!

October

2009-10-14T12:35:00.003-04:00

I haven't updated my blog in weeks because of laziness. Laziness to update, not on life. I have been very productive this month. I guess there is always room for improvement but all in all, it's been goooood.

This month.....I have worked out a lot and started spinning classes again. I think my thighs have shrunk and become firm due to spinning and using the old school stair climber. I burn a gazillion calories with those 2 types of cardio. I have also been very productive and proactive at work. yeah, it should be like this all the time but in reality, it's not. This month I have been a rockstar. No on has noticed but I have and that is most important. I've been in big time love with Carlos too. I mean, I'm very happy and in love but sometimes relationships are just there. Like feeling comfortable or things are going on as always. This month I have been just loving him and missing him while at work, wanting to be with him every minute, and sending cheesy texts all day. I have gone out with girlfriends though and have been to the gym alone, etc because I think it is important to separate - especially when living together.

I leave tonight to Houston. I am going to Austin tomorrow for one night, then heading to Eagle Pass for the weekend, and returning to Houston Sunday. Then be home for a week! I want to see sooo many people but a week is still not enough time. Carlos will arrive in houston on Wednesday of next week and we'll retun to NYC that following Sunday.

What is planned so far? Taking kids to school. Meeting Eva and seeing Dani. Mike time driving to Austin. BFFs and empanadas. Loni's wedding/College reunion. Cuadra visit. Latte visit. Dinner with Winnizle and Co. Meeting Ava and seeing Kenna (dinner with high school girlfriends). LLS. Dinner with chicas. Dad's Bday celebration. Leila's Bday celebration. Where the Wild Things Are. And of course in between all of that there are more visits and lots of time with family, family and family. And somehow I have to workout.

Lucky me

2009-09-29T16:09:00.003-04:00

I've been very lucky these last few weeks because I have been to 3 concerts and 1 off Broadway show in less than one month. And 2 of those shows were $free.99 Lucky me to have friends who think of me and also to have the means to purchase the tickets for the other shows.

And I am very lucky to be happy with life right now. Sure I have my bad days, my horrible days, my depressed days, but life is good. And I enjoy sharing it with Carlos. And even more happy to not have to worry about kids. (I know, I am still anti baby.) I think of the 'kids' topic because last night's concert was short notice and I was able to say 'yes!' in 2.3 seconds. I didn't have to worry about dinner or the kids or even if my man was interested. Whether he chose to go or not I would have still gone.

Is that what a carefree life is? Ummm.... I dunno. I do have concerns and responsibilities. Egh. Who cares what this life is. As long as it is healthy and happy.

Off Broadway - The Toxic Avenger

2009-09-20T23:39:00.002-04:00

Thanks to my friend, Victoria, Carlos and I (and Sandra) saw the off Broadway show, The Toxic Avenger, this evening. Victoria texted me Friday afternoon offering the free tickets and I immediately said yes without even knowing what the show was about. I don't believe in saying no to $free.99 tickets.

It was a musical based on a horror flick from the 80s and it was fffuuuunnnnyyyyy. The actors were extremely talented and I was entertained the whole time. I am always so impressed with the actors on Broadway. The runner up on season 3 of American Idol, Diana Degarmo, played the lead actress and she was great. Beautiful voice, very funny and a good actress.

The last show I saw was Next To Normal and that was in April with my sorority sisters. I wish I could go more often but it can be expensive. Carlos reminded me that we have 3 off Broadway theaters on our block. We should try to go to some shows that are just a quick few steps away. W.e'll see

The Fall is here

2009-09-17T15:38:00.002-04:00

Fall has arrived and it's soooo nice. This weekend we will have a high of lower 70's and it might be the last time we get the warmer temps. Today it's a high of 68 and I am loving it. The fall last year was so nice and am happy that it is here. The wardrobe switch will most likely happen this weekend. I don't change the entire wardrobe just items that are only for summer/hot season like my long tie-dye dress or turquoise halter dress.

Incredible to think that it has been a year since Winnie and Andrew got married and Carolina and Neil got engaged; and almost a year since I met Carlos. Next week is the anniversary of our first date and well, it all moved WAY fast from there. I think it was our third date that I met his sister and her husband... hee hee. Damn, we put this relationship in fast forward. We did get serious very quickly (oops) but at least we are not wanting to make any "next" steps soon. Even though he is not ready and doesn't want to get married I keep reminding him "Baby, please don't propose to me. I don't want to marry you." Haha... we always laugh and we know it's nothing negative. We are just not ready to be engaged. I'm actually kind of anti marriage right now. (Have I said that lately in my blog?)

Back to the Fall season......

I bought sweaters this weekend :-) And I can't wait to wear them. I wanted some sweater dresses but they were expensivo so I had to pass :-/

Some good news is that I had to buy work clothes also because my clothes are not fitting! My body is fit (not perfect with a six pack) and it has lost inches. I went down a size :-) The best thing is that I can do pushups and do crazy things like run sprints on the treadmill at high speeds and do walking lunges for 5 minutes and be on the old school stairmaster for 45 minutes or more.

Damn, I can't stay on track..... back to the Fall season..... hee hee

I think this fall season is going to be great for a few reasons. One is a cheesy reason. I'm excited to walk around with my guitarist and see him get dressed in a collared shirt with a light sweater over and have his arm around my shoulders when a cool breeze hits us. (I'm smiling) I'm looking forward to having the windows open and seeing the changing of the leaves. There are more but those are my cheesy share on blog reasons.

I heart sweaters.

A reason I love where I live

2009-09-02T13:17:00.002-04:00

Current weather for New York, NY 75°F
Clear; Wind: N at 5 mph; Humidity: 40%

It's a BEAUTIFUL day! I just had lunch outside with a colleague right next to the nice yachts and boats. I have had lunch outside for the last few weeks (minus rainy days) and I love it so much. I could never do this in Houston because it was always too hot. And when I would have lunch outside it's because I would decide to sacrifice my makeup.

The only tricky thing is that this perfect weather could mean fall is around the corner therefore winter is closer :-/ Hopefully it will stay this way or just be a fluke and we'll have a few more warmer/hot days. Either way I am not ready for the fall to begin because I am not looking forward to winter.

NO offense winter. I like you most of the time and I love the snow. I just can't stand the freezing days.

Sandwich sensitivity?

2009-09-01T11:09:00.003-04:00

I have realized today while walking to work that I am very sensitive over sandwiches.

Last week or the week before Carlos made me lunch. Aww...how sweet. No. It was two pieces of bread with organic mayo (I recommend it! It tastes the same and is only 35 calories per tablespoon, which I don't even use on my sandwiches).... ok, so bread and mayo and 1.5 pieces of thin thin thin lunch meat. I was very upset. Well, I first laughed because it was just stupid, but then I started thinking about what the sandwich could represent. No need to roll your eyes. I've already had a pair rolled towards me about this.

Then this morning I made myself a delicious looking sandwich and I was excited for lunchtime. I didn't find sandwich baggies so I wrapped it in paper towel and saran wrap. I thought no biggie. when I walked out of the subway station I felt something dripping on the back of my leg. It was the pineapple! The flimsy, chinese take out tupperware opened slightly and the juice was spilling! ALL. OVER. MY. SANDWICH. It was soaked, there was no saving, not even half. I was mad about the sandwich but also mad because we are on such a strict budget that I was actually thinking "darnit! wasted bread! wasted meat! wasted mayo! wasted lettuce!"

Then it hit me. What is it with me and sandwiches? Sheesh!

I do love sandwiches. LOVE them. But still. Getting mad over them? I need to calmala.

I'm an open book but....

2009-09-01T10:27:00.002-04:00

This last week I have learned from 2 people who are very close to me that they believe I tell all my business to all my friends. One person thinks I get angry or sad and then tell what happened to Florencia, Lizzie, Carol, Mari, Peggy, Jenny, Carlos, Orlando and all sorority sisters. The second person said "Come on Monica, you have how many best friends? And you probably tell each one everything."

Umm, no. You both are wrong. Completely wrong.

I do have a list of best friends. I have many acquaintances, less than many friends, and a short list of best friends. No, I do not just have one because I don't believe in depriving myself (in every aspect of my life). God has brought amazing people into my life and has given me the honor to be their friend and to share experiences and stories, why would I restrict myself to one or just 2 best friends?

I am an open book. I am not a secret keeper. I like talking to people to hear their thoughts and their advice. Many people have said to me that I am a lucky person or that good things happen to me and I think a factor of that "luckiness" is that I don't keep to myself and I try to learn from others' experiences, both good and bad. And those times where I made mistakes or just bad decision were all times I did not openly listen and hear what someone was trying to tell me.

As for the list at the beginning of this post. These people all hear different things. Some on that list hear almost nothing about my relationship with Carlos. Some only hear about regular stuff. One I speak to every so often. One person plays devil's advocate and makes me think more deeply than any others. Two have seen and heard me at my most vulnerable times.

And all sorority sisters. Ha! When something happens I do not send a mass email to the sorority listserve to tell the 100's of members. Ok, so maybe some of these best friends are sorority sisters - doesn't mean I trust every single woman in the organization to tell all my business.

One of these "assumers" (not a real word so it has quotes) thinks I tell every personal detail to some of my best friends. Again, wrong. Florencia and Lizzie hear the most but still, Flo knows of one current event in my life that Lizzie does not. And sometimes Lizzie knows something that Flo does not. And sometimes, more than what these "assumers" would ever know (or believe) is that there are times when no one knows what is going on.

I'm not ashamed for being an open book. I don't get offended that people think I tell all to everyone or that someone may think I tell too much. I just get confused or think it's weird that these people think I'm an idiot or just dumb. They should know me better than that.

I think I should start writing my book.

Nice Weekend

2009-08-18T15:26:00.002-04:00

This past weekend was fun and full of socializing. Friday evening I went out with Pegah, just us two, to celebrate her 27th birthday. I went to her place, we chatted and had wine, then went for sushi, and drinks after. We laughed a lot and talked a lot - that's the usual for us two. Pegah is one of my favorite people. We've been friends since 6th grade, so that will make it...umm...15 years now. Wow. I wish I would have been smarter and stayed close to her all these years. We had our phases of close, not close (still friends), close, not close. I wish it was close all these years. Can't go back now, so I must keep it this way from now on. She's temporarily here in NYC for a contract position, so she is working A LOT, but we're still already hanging out.

That same night, Caroll, Carlos' cousin came to the city from DC. When I got home they were getting ready to go to bed so we didn't get to hang out. The next morning I surprised myself and ran 5 miles. There is a 3 weekend event called Summer Streets where the city closes Park Avenue for 9 miles from 7 AM to 2 PM. So you have the whole street to bike ride, rollerblade, run, etc. The weather was beautiful and I had to run, so I did, but did not know I would run 5 miles! It's been a long time since I have run more than 2 or 3 miles (and that's on a treadmill).

That afternoon the 3 of us went to Governor's Island to meet up with Sandra and Hieu and some of their friends. LOVED it! We were at picnic point, relaxing, laying down on our blanket, using the hammock, sitting on a beach chair, having a picnic, while looking at Lady Liberty. 3.5 hours passed too quickly and we were rushing home to shower and get ready for our impromptu get together. We had some of Carlos' friends over and stayed up till 1:30 or so drinking and talking. I laughed a lot. Oh and I fell from the little seat I was on. I was scooting up to get out of someones way and I fell. I surprisingly didn't get embarrassed. I guess because everyone is so nice.

So on Sunday after Caroll left it was just the two of us and kind of quiet. I love being with Carlos. I love his profile (of his face). That was random.

updated to do list

2009-08-18T14:56:00.002-04:00

Here's my to do list from last week. The red is what I completed. Err... trust me, I had the time and funds but was lazy. BUT, we did have nice company this weekend and hung out the whole time, I did have girl plans Friday night, and I did run 5 miles Saturday morning. So I'm not that lazy. But I have to add more to the list now :-(

Look into catering for dad's birthday party
Buy special medicine
Buy vitamin D pills
Buy multi vitamin
Go to Trader Joes - purchase bread, peanut butter, jelly, and more
Take video back to Blockbuster
Clean bathroom
Dust the apartment
Finish laundry
Make Jennifer's TNT webpage
Manicure
Get cool back to school gifts for kids
Mail books to sister and kids
Buy toilet paper
Upload Blackberry program onto laptop
Upload new songs to ipod for working out
Call Ashley
Call Krystle
Pay bills
Pay medicall bills
Return other video to Blockbuster
Watch Netflix movies, then return
Convince Carlos to fix the toilet
Shine black heels
Read more of my current self help book

I need to work on this. Ok, let's see where I am on Friday.

Current To Do List

2009-08-13T09:41:00.002-04:00

I am a to-do list person and currently I am ignoring mine. My work to-do list is loooong but many tasks are highlighted and that makes me feel like I achieved something. My personal to-do list will get just as long if I don't start working on it.

My current to do list

Look into catering for dad's birthday party
Buy special medicine
Buy vitamin D pills
Buy multi vitamin
Go to Trader Joes - purchase bread, peanut butter, jelly, and more
Take video back to Blockbuster
Clean bathroom
Dust the apartment
Finish laundry
Make Jennifer's TNT webpage
Manicure
Get cool back to school gifts for kids
Mail books to sister and kids
Buy toilet paper
Upload Blackberry program onto laptop
Upload new songs to ipod for working out
Call Ashley
Call Krystle

What I think is so hypocritical are people who think President Obama has not done enough in his first 200 days in office. I have been in my job about a month longer than the President and I am still learning new things every week (sometimes every day), I get stressed or overwhelmed, and I am definitely not a rock star. I am pretty good at what I do but there is ROOM for improvement. So when I hear people complaining about President Obama's lack of getting things done I think, "Really? Let's talk about you. How does your personal to do list look? Have you been meaning to paint that room? Meaning to lose 10 pounds? Meaning to do something, anything? Yeah, I thought so. If you, Average Joe/Jane can't get your to to do list complete, how do you expect the President to fix all the nation's problems in 200 days?!" "And Average Joe/Jane, if you complain from cleaning up after your kids mess or life partner's mess or colleagues that make mistakes at work, how do you expect the new President to clean up after the previous President who made the HUGE mess?!!?!?"

Back to the personal to do list. On Tuesday I will post my updated to do list.

Date Night

2009-08-10T09:21:00.004-04:00

Friday was a great day. I took the day off from work and enjoyed it! I worked out in the morning, hung out with Carlos while he worked from home, met up with my friend Nakia at the Met to see an exhibit The Model as Muse, then hung out with Pegah who I haven't seen a couple of months. I got home around 6ish, took a small nap then got ready for the secret dinner date Carlos had planned.

I wore a black tube dress, tall shoes, and gold accessories. Carlos wouldn't stop telling me how pretty I looked. Ok, he was using the word hot, but he's my boyfriend, so of course he thinks that. He also looked very handsome with his jeans, collared shirt and blazer.

He took me to Buddakan.

The outside of the restaurant. I didn't even realize something was in behind those black walls.

Whoa. I was in for a great surprise. It was beautiful inside!
The food was DELICIOUS. It was one of the best meals I have ever had in my life. Absolutely delicious. We had champage with our meal and dessert. And the service was outstanding.

Another cool thing about the place is that the Sex and the City movie had its dinner rehearsal scene here. Right above you can see the long table where the SATC scene was filmed.

After dinner we went to an outside bar and had a couple more drinks. We had great conversation about us and our future. It was real nice. I love Carlos and he loves me. I am so thankful to have found him and I know he feels the same way about me.

working on my fitness

2009-08-06T15:30:00.002-04:00

I don't think I've written much about health and fitness. At the end of last year I got a gym membership and meant to go often but rarely went. Then in February I went to Houston and felt really chubby. When I returned I made the decision to really work out and to try to count my calories.

The beginning was not aggressive because I was easing into it. After feeling better and not losing my breath while working out I began working out with a trainer and then I became aggressive with trying to lose some weight. I hit a plateau when I became ill. Obviously because I was not working out as much (or as hard) and I was not counting my calories. When I felt better I eased back into the routine.

I get Fitness and Women's Health magazines, daily emails from those magazines, including Self and Prevention, I am signed up on Calorie Count, and I do a lot of research on health/fitness. So far so GREAT.

After 5 months I am 15 pounds lighter. I can actually do a pushup. My trainer says I am the ideal client and other trainers say I'm a "monster". So the process has been slow but that's how I want it. I feel like a slow pace means I am learning and walking into a permanent healthy life. Plus, I am not depriving myself. When I'm too tired or don't feel like going to the gym I don't go. When I want a bad food I have it, but not as much as before.

My life has changed. I want to keep it this way. Err - I want to lose 8 more pounds and get more firm, but I want to keep living this way; Making better and healthier decisions for myself.

Another great thing is that my guitarist is right here with me. He just started working a couple of weeks ago at our new gym. It's my dream gym. Smells good, real pretty and simple, never packed of people, the service is amazing, and have intelligent trainers (ones that know what they are talking about and are fit).

I already feel good and accomplished with my figure. I think next summer I will feel more accomplished. Go me! (& Carlos)

Actually - Go Florencia! Go Cathy! Go Melissa! Go Carolina! Go Mari! (are all working at their fitness and figures also)

Happy Wednesday

2009-08-05T13:57:00.002-04:00

I get so happy on Wednesdays because it means the weekend is almost here. I never remember loving the weekend as much as I do now. Maybe it's the job? Maybe it's because I love sleeping in? Or spending time with my guitarist? Going out with friends? Brunch? I guess it's many factors that go into loving the weekend.

This past weekend was great and I'm already looking forward to this next one.

Last Friday Carlos and I had a movie night and we ate wings. whoops. oh well. Saturday morning we woke up early and ran some errands, had a small breakfast at Madison Square Park where we people watched at 9 in the morning. A family playing with small planes, a tai chi class, a trainer and client, people walking dogs, other people watching like us. The weather was perfect. We went to the library and then the gym after. From there I went to a spa to meet with Karyn and Krista and other ladies to start the bachelorette festivities for Karyn. We had a great time there and later we were at Krista's apt and chatted out on the terrace. Again, weather was perfect! We went to a tapas restaurant then a couple of bars later. My night ended at 3 AM when I returned home.

Sunday was another great day. I skipped church though :-/ We had breakfast in the West Village where Carlos' open house was so he could be right near. He went to work and I went walking back to our place but was distracted by The Strand, a giant bookstore. I was there for a 1.5 hours and got 4 books, all cost just a $1. I finally went home and called my mom and talked to her and the kids. Leila cracked me up with her sassiness. Carlos and I met up later, ran more errands, went to the gym, cooked dinner , then relaxed. Monday was a work day of course but we went to Bryant Park for the movie in the park and saw Kramer vs Kramer. It was my first time seeing it and I liked it a lot. The evening was perfect. My sweetheart and I, clear sky, the low was high 60's, chinese food, fruit and wine. Perfection.

This weekend will be 3 days :-) I'm using a flex day and taking Friday off and will be going to The Met to see an exhibit that is closing this weekend. THEN that evening Carlos has a surprise for me! I have to wear something nice and be ready to leave the apartment at 8 sharp. What a romantico!

Washington DC Pictures

2009-07-27T10:23:00.004-04:00

Washington DC pictures from our last visit to the family. Carlos and Caroll (cousin) took me like I had never been.

The back of the White House. It didn't as big as TV and the movies make it, but it is huge, 2nd largest house in the nation.

The World War II Memorial

View from the Lincoln Memorial. Pretty.

It was hot! We needed to cool down.

Lincoln Memorial. It was huge!

The Washinton Memorial. Carlos and Caroll.

The front of the White House.

Pictures!

2009-07-27T09:34:00.002-04:00

I haven't uploaded pictures in a long time! This and the next posts will have pictures that I have been menaing to put up.

Family Vacation 2009 - Destin, Florida

Asado picnic in the "backyard"

On the beach, trying to stay away from the hot hot sun.

Nice, huh? This was the 4th of July when I got there super early to claim our spot.

The view from the condo. The golf course was our backyard.

After singing Happy Birthday to my mom.

anti baby

2009-07-22T16:58:00.003-04:00

ok, i still love babies for the obvious reasons...cute, chubby, sweet, etc. but i have major major anti baby fever. yesterday, i received a text from carlos and it said "at colleague's place. what a nightmare! no kids." meaning in our relationsgip language, this is a nightmare, no kids for us! ha-ha-ha...

tonight's plans. leaving the office NOW. calling mom. walgreens to use coupons. home to nap. gym for boxing. sauna with carlos. back home for dinner. harry potter #4 movie. (need the refresher)

this schedule would not exist if i had a child.

oh. so today i called Marta to say happy birthday, but a day late. she answered and i said "i'm late." and she said HUH? i said "oh no! i mean i am a day late. happy birthday for yesterday!" hahaha... oh God, no.

Better Day

2009-07-17T10:21:00.002-04:00

The talk with the Bishop from my church went well. I feel better and some questions were answered. I'm not so angry now. I'm calming down.

TGIF. I am so excited for the philharmonic tonight at central park. This event is definitely one of the best things here in NYC.

Bad bad bad

2009-07-16T13:12:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago I promised myself and stated it here on my blog that I would not sweat the small stuff. I said that because I was tired of hearing myself complaining or whining when my life is nothing to complain and whine about. I am one who loves God and has a lot of faith and believes in the power of prayer, but I'm slipping.

I'm angry and confused. I am not questioning God, I just have questions. I still love God because it's a natural feeling. I know God will always provide and has a plan for you. I can't say I trust God at all times because I'm angry now, so obviously I am not trusting Him.

I've attempted to read the Book of Job but have not finished yet because I get annoyed. Really, Job? Really? Your life has been destroyed and you still love God? I dunno...it doesn't sound real.

My prayer time has decreased dramatically to almost non existent. I only pray for very specific things and prayer requests when they come in. My church attendance has decreased. I mean, when you're upset with someone you don't go visit them, right?

I'm just wondering why things happen. Why bad things happen to good people. There are some really BAD people out there in the world yet they keep living, keep prospering, etc. For example, Farah Fawcett lost the battle to cancer and she was a good person. Keith Richards has done every drug in the book and risked killing himself and he's still living. Ok, so I'm being really mean or negative....I'm just saying. You have a person who enjoys life and tries to be healthy and cancer gets her and kills her. Then you have another who abuses drugs, drinks alcohol like they need it to live, has had multiple multiple sexual partners and they're fine. Sure he might be depressed or regretful.... I am not saying Richards is one of those really bad people either. You must get my point.

During the family vacation I was putting on more SPF 45 and thought "Gah.... I have spf in my make up, I moisturize everyday, I use SPF on a daily basis, I try to get under the shade when I feel like I've had too much sun...." Then it went on, "I work out a lot, I'm eating pretty healthy, I take vitamins, I get an annual physical from the doctor, I get my women's exam done every year, I know my body well enough where I noticed a mole was changing shape," It went on with, "I am nice most of the time, I tell my parents I love them, I volunteer almost once a week, I donate, I believe in equal rights," The last thought, "What's the point of doing all this when a disease like cancer can just sneak up on you and kill you?"

I was sad when Maggie was not doing well and even more sad when she died. I honestly did not think i would be affected in this degree though. I'm pissed. Why did God take her? Why did he take a super intelligent, fun, lovable person from this world? I-DON'T-GET-IT. And I think of other friends whose mom is battling cancer, a friend's friend who is now battling a cancer, the Florida couple who was killed this past week, the missing children all over this nation, the orphaned children around the world.... I even think about smaller issues like when someone is battling depression or alcoholism. I think about my extreme insecurities.

I even told Carlos he should evaluate our relationship and decide if he wants to be with me or not. He's just so positive and never gets angry. So why waste his time with someone who is?

I dunno. I'm just angry. Good luck to my Bishop today because we're meeting at 4 to talk about my questions and anger.

I really hope our discussion will help me. I hope spinning class this evening will get rid of some of this anxiety. And I really hope that tomorrow is a beautiful day and that the philharmonic in the park is absolutely wonderful.

A Memorable Monday Evening

2009-07-14T10:35:00.002-04:00

I skipped out on the gym yesterday because I decided I had to clean the apartment like I was too lazy over the weekend. I vacuumed, swiffered, and mopped (kind of, I have no mop, so I was on my hands and knees, no problem though, we have a small apartment). I didn't even make it to the bathroom because the floor cleaning took longer than expected. Oh, and I went grocery shopping.

I started dinner in the 8 o'clock hour, expecting Carlos to return home around 8:30 but he didn't show up until 9:15 or so. I made a small arugula salad with onion and tomatoes, roasted vegetables, and boiled some mushroom ravioli and then tossed in olive oil with oregano. The roasted veggies didn't match the ravioli but we didn't have salmon so like I thought so plans were changed. Dinner was delicious.

Carlos got home, changed into his comfy clothes, opened a bottle of red wine (from the case he received as a thank you gift from a client), and we had dinner by the windows that face the street. The windows were open and a nice breeze was coming in, and surprisingly, it was not noisy or loud outside. We talked about the day, he loved the dinner I made, we enjoyed the wine, he washed the dishes while I sorted the dirty clothes, and we took the laundry to the basement.

He suddenly had the urge to play his guitar and out came his music stand out and books of music. I played sudoku on his phone, got on facebook, drank more wine, listened to his playing... I didn't want to interrupt so I finished the laundry. I folded (and drank more wine) while he played. I was thinking "folding laundry sucks.... but it's not so bad when you are listening to nice music your boyfriend is playing." I was thinking.... "gah... I love that my boyfriend's passion is music. And he can play it."

So nothing special happened. It was a just a nice and simple evening that I don't think I'll forget. Maybe it's because I was really taking it in. Carlos and I had a discussion this past weekend that I plan too much or look too much into the future and he thinks I should focus on the present more, so it doesn't pass me by and so I enjoy it. Maybe that's why I was appreciating the normal Monday night.

And I am currently in a major anti-baby fever phase....so last night made me also think "it's so awesome not to have kids." Hahaha.....

Summer... come out, come out, wherever you are!

2009-07-13T14:07:00.002-04:00

About a month ago I had a posting called The Never Beginning Summer and even though the weather has dramatically improved, summer has not yet arrived. A month ago it was rainy and chilly, trench coat, jeans and pashmina weather.... during those weeks of last year, it was HOT. We went to the Hamptons, went to the beach, and were melting when walking outside. So we were all confused.."umm summer, what's up? where are you? long time no see."

The sun is now coming out. People are going outside for lunch and we're all upset being cooped up in a building all day. If it rains, it barely drizzles and usually at a time when you're not outside anyways or would be having a picnic. But, it's not hot. The morning commute to work (like 10 minutes in the subway, then 5 minutes walking....hee hee) is nice with the sun trying to get through the thin clouds and a nice cool breeze. Feels like spring. In the afternoon it reaches to mid or upper 70's and begins to cool down around 9ish.

No melting. No sweat. I can keep my hair down. I don't need an ice cold water bottle for the morning commute.

Ok, I'm sure most Texans are thinking I shouldn't be complaining. But last Thursday evening, Karyn, Krista and I met at my favorite tapas restaurant, Las Ramblas, and it was chilly. We had a cardigan or a pashmina on. I have only been upset that there has been no heat but Krista brought up a great and BIG point. If we have no summer, or if summer feels like early fall, then how will fall be? Like winter? And will this upcoming winter be worse than the last one? YIKES!

My decision: I will enjoy the nice cool weather, stop complaining AND pray that winter will not be as bad.

Words of Encouragement

2009-07-08T10:48:00.000-04:00

From the Christian group at my work

WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT . . . .
How do you show your love to someone, say your spouse, parent, child, sibling, or even co-worker? John 13:1 - It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.

This is a powerful message to me - Jesus shows us the full extent of his love by sacrificing Himself for us. Remembering what Christ did for us let's be sure that we show Christlike love to those around us. That is the least we must do.

Blessings, Bob <><

The Little Prince

2009-07-07T14:48:00.002-04:00

I'm at work and am working - I promise, but I am also listening in to Michael Jackson's memorial service (and watching a little here and there). It is so sad. So weird. So far it's a nice service and pretty emotional. Brooke Shields just spoke and said she had always thought of him as the Little Prince instead of the King of Pop. Then she read a few lines from the book of the Little Prince and it was so sweet, it spoke of a gentle person (the prince) who took care of a delicate flower. She then said how Michael's favorite song is Smile by Charlie Chaplin and one of his brothers is singing it now. It is a great song. Yes, you've heard it.

The lyrics...
Smile
tho'your heart is aching,
Smile
Even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by,
If youSmile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through- For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile- What's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

Back to Real Life

2009-07-06T13:29:00.002-04:00

The family vacation was wonderful. Destin, Florida impressed me and I would love to go back. Cathy did great with researching and booking it. I arrived first and waited about an hour and a half for my parents and the Condes to get there. I loved the condo! 3 bedrooms, big kitchen, big living room, good tvs, great location! It was on a golf course and a small lake was in our backyard.

Nice memories...

Being at the beach with everyone.
Spending a quiet afternoon with my parents at the condo. We just talked. And it was perfect.
Singing happy birthday to my mom.
Having a picnic right outside of our condo. The sun was setting, my dad was making asado, the kids were fishing... the weather was nice. Perfection.
Boogie boarding with the kids.

Funny memories...

I was being goofy and singing "I got it from my momma" to Leila. She was just laughing at me and enjoying my silly dancing and singing. Then she asked "What did you get from your momma?" Haha... so cute!
Because I was at the condo when the family arrived, Leila thought the condo was my place. She asked about decorations and why Carlos wasn't there.
Cathy and I shared a moment one evening. We were sitting on a bench and a girl came out of a club and I said "I hate that girl." And Cathy agreed in 1.2 milliseconds. Haha.. ok, that was mean, but it happened and it was funny.
I lit the candles on my mom's birthday cake and when I took my first step outside they all blew out but one.

I had to give my bye hugs on Saturday night like I left at 4:45 AM on Sunday. I got emotional when hugging my sister but just let go all fast and walked away. I don't like saying bye. Especially now that I live so far. You never know what God will give you, right?

I was back on the great island of Manhattan and in my apartment by 2pm. I am so thankful to God for giving me this time off from work but even more for giving me the time to be with some of my favorite people.

Family Vacation

2009-06-29T10:15:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow I have a 6:30 AM flight out of Newark to Destin, Florida. I will be meeting my familia for 5 days of fun in the sun! The weather websites says there will be rain in Destin, but I'm hoping for short sunny rains instead of gloomy, gray skies rains. Either way I will be happy to spending time with my family. I have major family sickness.

The plans are to go to the pool, the beach, go fishing, and I guess hang out? I don't know what else. Again, I'm just happy to be seeing my family.

This is going to be the first time being apart from Carlos since we've moved in together. I know I'll be fine while I'm away because of the family, but I wonder if I will still miss him or have trouble at first to go to sleep. Next week will already be 6 months of us living together so our routine is set and I'm very used to it.

I get back on Sunday around noon so I will be back at the apartment around 1. He's thinking about going to the beach in Jersey for the weekend or maybe just for Sunday. When he told me this I got a little upset because I feel like he should be home when I get home like we'd have been separated for 5 days, but he disagreed. He said "so you get to go on vacation and I'm supposed to wait for your return? No. I'll be home in the early evening and we'll get back on our routine." I had this 'excuse me' attitude look, but understood and said "ok".

Then last night he spoke to his parents and sister (they have a conference call on Sundays) and I asked if he told them I was leaving and he said "oh. no. i forgot." I thought (and said) "Oh my goodness. You don't even care! You're actually looking forward to me leaving. How do you forget to tell your parents?" He disagreed and said he just forgot and that doesn't mean anything bad. And he said to stop having crazy assumptions. I pouted. I got over it.

I am so excited and am looking forward to this trip. Even though I was being bratty with Carlos, I still wish the family vacation could have been longer.

I'm praying for all our safe arrivals to Destin.

Thank you God for giving us this vacation together. (Oh and can you please give us lots of sun? My yellow skin needs it.) Amen.

Lucky Girl

2009-06-25T16:39:00.003-04:00

I have many people who I am thankful for and love very much. I think I am a very lucky person because God has blessed me with great parents, a very supportive sister, a loving boyfriend and wonderful friends. This letter below was an email I sent to specific close friends. After the letter, is a line from an email from Florencia, in response to something I said to her about being a horrible person.

Email:
Hi Flo and Lizzie, my Best Friends,

This is going to be cheesy and I was not planning to pour out my feelings this week until Monday happened. This is out of nowhere. On Monday evening I went to a 45 minute spinning class. Spinning classes are tough for me and it took me some time to even find the courage to go. I finally started going a few months ago because I began to be more confident with my ability.

These last few weeks (I blame you know what) I have been insecure and feeling "low". Not every minute or every day, but enough where it's now annoying and I am disappointed in myself. Anyways, I'm working on it. So, these last few weeks during this weird phase of mine I have had 2 factors in my life that always make me smile, pick me up, knock it into my head that I'm a good person, and remind me that I am loved. These 2 factors are you two.

In spinning class on Monday, the teacher was tough (they always are). During a sprint where she kept tricking us saying 10 more seconds then adding another 10, she would yell "Don't slow your pace!" "You can do it!" That helped me stay motivated but then she yelled "Imagine a person who loves you and believes in you! And if that person was right here in front of your bike, what would they say? Would they let you slow down?" Ok, it's just spinning, it's not running a marathon, it's not taking the bar exam....

Who popped into my mind? Florencia and Elizabeth. I suddenly wanted to cry. (and strangely enough, I have a bump in my throat and my eyes just got watery.. like right now)... I thought of you two and how you believe in me. And that if you were there in my spinning class you would believe that I could sprint for another 10, 20, 30 seconds. I had to start coughing to get rid of the "wanting to cry" feeling. I was able to keep sprinting for the extra seconds she gave us. I was suddenly full of new energy and kicked ass. I was thinking "Oh my! God has blessed me with many wonderful gifts and 2 of those amazing gifts are sorority sisters."

So, I wanted to tell you both that I am grateful for you. Grateful that you made the decision to go to UT and then to join SDL. I am extremely lucky to have met you both and that you chose me as a friend. Both of you are intelligent and amazing...you have multiple qualities that many people wished they had!

Thank you for being so good to me. Thank you for listening and reading my thoughts, my complaints, my cheesy stories, my feelings. Thank you for being a wonderful friend to me and for caring so much about me and my family.

I don't know what I did in my 19 years of life that God decided to reward me with your friendships in college. I am so grateful to God for you two. Thank you for being two of my best friends. I love you both dearly. Lalo!

A response from Flo after I told her that I was a horrible person:
anyways, you are not horrible, or we both are horrible, and so long as Im with you, i dont care what category we are in.

lucky girl, huh?

The Never Beginning Summer

2009-06-16T15:10:00.001-04:00

Monica loved her first summer in New York City in 2008. New to the city, its free events, and its great summer weather – summer 2008 was fantastic. Full of dresses, walking around, drinking on rooftops and terraces, going to the park, bike riding, and more. The winter of 2008 to 2009 was awful and horrible for any “first experience living in winter” person. Monica stayed inside (with her sweetheart) and hibernated.

As the months began to pass in 2009 Monica became more and more excited for the spring and summer. Spring came, but wasn’t so great. It was full of rainy and windy days. She began to start wishing for summer to arrive earlier and many people shared those thoughts. She began looking for summer event calendars and printing them out. Emails were sent telling friends about specific dates and the awesome events going on. Save the dates!

It is now June. You would think Monica would now be happy and smiling with the sun shining on her face, wearing her summer dresses, and finally having a pretty color (not the ugly yellow color that winter gave her.) That is not the case.

She has put her trench coat away only because she is tired of it – not because she does not need it. The black cardigan is now in use everyday.

Wait, cardigan, like a small sweater? Are you confused? Yes, today's date is June 16th.

An event that has been in Monica's planner for a few weeks was the first Monday of the HBO Bryant Park Summer Film Festival. Movie in the park. Free. Picnic on the pretty lawn with the expensive grass that tickles your feet. 2 friends confirmed their attendance, Carolina and Krista.

The morning of June 15th, Monica went to work with a big green bag holding 2 blankets, cups, a corkscrew, 2 bottles of wine, and 2 books (for the couple of hours when she would be alone). The sky was gray and it was sprinkling during the morning commute. During work hours, when she was inside a building working, the sun was out and the sky was blue. She still emailed her girlfriends saying she would keep them updated on the weather and the decision of going or not. When she quickly left work to make sure she got a good spot on the lawn she detoured home for a quick 2 minutes to change into warmer clothes; jeans, the black cardigan, and a red pashmina.

She arrived at Bryant Park early before the lawn opened. She thought “Yes!” She sat right next to the lawn on a chair. More thoughts, “Awesome….no more gray skies, the lawn will open, I will get a good spot.” No. It began to sprinkle. Thoughts, “No biggie…. It will stop.” Announcement, “The lawn will not open this evening, but the movie will go on.” Monica had a table and four chairs right next to the lawn so she was already set with a good spot to watch the movie.

Sprinkles turned into light rain. Light rain turned into harder rain. The hard rain turned into scary storm rain. At this point Monica and the other couple hundred early birds were toughing it out. New York City rains come and go quickly – no biggie. But it kept going. And going. This is when the thoughts turned into questions about being stupid, naïve, or being too positive, which led into a tiny argument with God. It stopped.

The wonderful girlfriends arrived with paper towels, more wine, chicken soup, and laughs. The three women chatted, drank the wine, ate the chicken soup, stayed under the blankets, stayed wrapped up in the small sweaters or jackets, and kept looking at each other with confused looks to say, “It’s June 15th.”

Troopers are what all those hundreds of NYers are. They were all ready to get summer started with or without Mother Nature’s cooperation. Everyone still enjoyed the movie and great company, even though it was cold and windy.

Hence the title of this posting.

Being thankful

2009-06-15T14:21:00.003-04:00

From the daily email from the Christian group here at my work.

Psalm 96:3 - Publish his glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things he does.

Was this past weekend as great a weekend for you as it was for me? God's glorious deeds were so evident, even here in the desert southwest: flowers, trees, the mountains, the sky! Of course, it is not just these things but everything He does in our lives. Has He done a great deed in your life? Tell everyone about it! Have a blessed week in Him! Bob <><

Back to me:

This weekend was wonderful. Nothing crazy special happened, just good times with great friends and a wonderful boyfriend. Carlos has been very very busy with work and we're not spending that much time together. I know, we live together, but I leave the apartment at 8:30 and he gets home at 11 at night. That leaves very few hours together during the week. Then he works on the weekends so it's not like we have those hours either. Friday night I had plans with friends and he worked until I got home around 10. I ended up falling asleep real quickly from being exhausted ( I think my hardcore workout that afternoon is what did it). Anyways, so we went to bed early and woke up early - which was a nice blessing. We were out of the apartment by 9:30 and walked to Bed Bath & Beyond in the cool and crisp weather while eating bagels and coffee. I was so happy to have an hour and half with him. At 11 he left to Brooklyn to be Mr Fix It at the investment property he has out there. He was in Brooklyn ALL day.

Later in the evening friends came over to our place (Carlos was absent) to have drinks and sing Happy Birthday to Krista before we headed out to a bar/lounge. It was so nice to have everyone over. We were having such a good time that we ended up leaving way later than expected and arrived at the bar around 12:30. I did not get drunk or even tipsy, but still had a slight hangover on Sunday! I woke up at 10:40 and missed church! I felt bad, but I still got up to volunteer at the soup kitchen. I missed service but at least I went to my church and volunteered! And with a hangover! I think God will let this absence slide. hee hee

Carlos said he would be done with work around 4 so when he called me at 2 saying he was done I was so happy (and relieved cuz I was missing him). We shopped for shoes, went home and rested, then went to our new favorite restaurant. Afterwards we to the newest park in Manhattan, The Highline http://www.thehighline.org/. IT IS SO NICE!!! Everyone there had a smile - I'm not lying. Seems like NYers have yet another thing to be proud of. What is so unique about the park is that it is an "elevated, steel structure built in the 1930s to carry freight trains." And it was all privately funded by people who wanted to use this historical structure in a go green kind of way.

Going back to the email. Has God done a great deed for me? Everyday is a great blessing but right now I am very thankful for good times made possible by great friends and a wonderful & loving boyfriend.

Thank you God.

Oh my... I love our President

2009-06-11T16:37:00.003-04:00

June 11, 2009
President issues get out of class pass to 10-year-old
Posted: 04:01 PM ET
From CNN White House Producer Xuan Thai

President Obama wrote a young girl named Kennedy a note who was missing the last day of school to attend the town hall with her father.

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin (CNN) — How do you get away with skipping classes on your last day of school? Make sure you get your hands on a presidential pardon.

President Barack Obama held a town hall meeting on Thursday in Green Bay, Wisconsin to discuss his health care agenda — but he also took a little time to write an all-important "get out of school" note. A young girl named Kennedy attended the town hall with her father, who was called on to ask a question. Her father, John Corpus, started his query saying he hoped his daughter wouldn't get into trouble for missing the last day of school. "Do you need me to write a note?" Obama asked. Clearly assuming that Obama was just kidding, Corpus continued with his question — only to be interrupted by the president. "No, no, I'm serious. What's your daughter's name?" Obama said, as he started to write a note. "I'm going to write to Kennedy's teacher."
He then walked over to the girl and handed her the note: "To Kennedy’s Teacher, Please excuse Kennedy’s absence…she’s with me. Barack Obama" No word yet on whether the president's get out of school free card did the trick.

My thoughts: When I was in 5th grade I voted for Bill Clinton at school. I was fan for his two terms and still am. In college he spoke at UT and Florencia and I went together and we shook his hand. We freaked. It was so awesome! Just to shake Bill Clinton's hand.

If I was this little girl I would be freaking out and going to sleep for nights straight with a big smile on my face. I would know then at that moment where President Obama handed me the note that I am awesome and my dad is even more awesome for choosing to let me miss the last day of school to go see the president. (what a run-on)

Some comments under this article were AWFUL. I couldn't believe that so many people couldn't just enjoy this very cool moment for this little girl. Or enjoy, just for a second, that President Obama is a nice guy. Even a conservative republican guy, Eric, said "Oh, give it a rest. Sheesh. I'm a conservative Republican, but it's idiots who bash something like this that give conservatives and Republicans a bad name. The guy was clever. Good. He's my president; I want him to be clever. I may not agree with many of his policies, and I'd rather someone with different policies be in office, but that doesn't mean I have to hate him or criticize what he does. Fellow conservatives: we're not going to win any hearts or minds by being petty and sniping at everything. Lighten up!"

I HEART President Obama

Rain Rain Go Away +

2009-06-11T14:26:00.002-04:00

It's been an awful 2 weeks of rain, rain, winds, winds, humidity, then some sweet (but teasing) sunshine on the weekends. That is what counts more but still the rain sucks. It's not hard or scary rain so I don't need my rain boots. Yet it's not gentle enough to carry my small umbrella so I carry the big one (like a cane). Then it can be humid so I'll just melt in my trench coat. Grrr....

The hair is out of control and doesn't know what to do anymore. I've been using curling mousse, scrunching it, and it ends up in a ponytail or loose bun anyways. Almost all the woman arrive here at work with curlies around the face or major frizz all over the place.

Carlos has been working super hard and has had a tough schedule. He's easily working 65 hours a week now. That's great news for us and the real estate market but it's less together time. I'm ok though because I like being with friends, working out at the gym or being alone at home. Like last night, he got home at 11, but I was happy watching The Little Mermaid, having a salad and wine after a nice workout with my trainer. I was in bed reading when he got home. Actually I was suddenly so sleepy because the stove was on! Carlos made me an omelet in the morning and never turned the gas stove off! It was on all day with no flame. Scary....

Tuesday night Mari came over and we had tacos, wine, and girl time. (Carlos got home at 10:30ish) See? Him working late is not so bad. BUT this past Sunday when he was leaving for work at 10AM (and he said he would be back home around 5) I suddenly had major separation anxiety...major. He felt bad leaving. :-/ Kind of pathetic.

Benefits in NYC Get Crunk

2009-06-04T10:32:00.003-04:00

On Tuesday night Mari and I volunteered at the Zero Tolerance Benefit for the non profit Sanctuary for Families. This is an AMAZING non profit that provides services to survivors of domestic violence. The services they provide are GREAT and more than what most women center's are able to. I want to work there because ending domestic violence is what I am most passionate about. When I saw the staff people doing their thing I was jealous and thinking "I work at a credit card company." Anyways... I will be back in non profit eventually and be happy.

So... the benefit was beautiful! The flowers and table centerpieces were the most beautiful I had ever seen at such an event - and I have been to quite a hand full. There was a dance floor and I thought, "No one dances at these events. Never. Why do we keep trying?" Of course I said 'we' because I still think I'm a development professional even though I have not been in that field for over a year now. Then I thought, "Wait...we are in New York City. Maybe people do dance." Then later on I came across an invitation and my eyes grew big instantly. "Oh damn!!! People are going to get crunk! DJ Grandmaster Flash is djing!!!!" Hahaha

I thought, "Gaw... New York City is so damn awesome. No city tops it."

So later on Mari and I were dancing and jamming to great music, and every time we were told to yell "Hoooo!!!!" by Grandmaster Flash we would; of course we would listen to a founding father of hip hop... so cool.

From the Christian Group at my workplace

2009-06-02T12:20:00.000-04:00

Over the next three days let's look at three reasons why we must cultivate respect for others. 1 Corinthians 13:5 - Love is not rude...

Rudeness is a deliberate lack of respect for others. The apostle Peter wrote in 1 Peter 2:17 - Show proper respect to everyone.

Today's reason why we must cultivate respect for others is that God made everyone in His own image (Genesis 1:27). Therefore we are required to treat everyone with dignity and respect because each person with whom we deal, whether in the workplace, at home, in school, in our churches or in our communities, is made in God's image. We must respect that person because we respect God.

Have a blessed day in the Lord!

from CNN.com

2009-05-29T13:24:00.002-04:00

From CNN.com.... I really really really liked this commentary. Professor Ifill explained the whole "racist" issue perfectly. Well, almost perfect.

Editor's note: Sherrilyn Ifill is a professor of law at the University of Maryland School of Law and a civil rights lawyer who specializes in voting rights and political participation. She is the author of "On the Courthouse Lawn: Confronting the Legacy of Lynching in the 21st Century," and is a regular contributor to The Root at http://www.theroot.com/.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/05/28/ifill.sotomayor/index.html

So Proud

2009-05-28T09:43:00.003-04:00

Sonia Sotomayor has been appointed by President Obama to sit on the Supreme Court. Her background is similar to his own: working class family, encouraged to study hard, brought up to have confidence, etc.

The commentary below seems long but it's a quick read and written by a Republican. It's great and speaks the truth about why Judge Sotomayor is a smart choice.

And, I know it doesn't matter, but it does to me - Sotomayor is a woman and hispanic. A Latina in the Supreme Court!!!! I understand why many people say it shouldn't matter but if you come from a similar background it does. It matters to me and I am proud. Have I faced extreme racism or hardships because of my race or economical background? No, not really. But I definitely had my personal struggles in identifying with groups, finding who I really am, not having a parent who can tell me their college experience, having to practically do my college applications alone then explaining everything I was doing even though I was also new to it; I would watch my mom look at the finances to figure out how she would pay for the summer camps I would go to, my dad would often miss out on school events during the week because of the evening hours he worked, I remember my mom being LIVID when she found out the elementary school had put me in ESL just because I was Hispanic, I remember salespeople being rude or ignoring my mom when she would speak English with her thick accent..... These are tiny things that I have experienced and I am sure Sonia Sotomayor has very similar stories... Some might think "no big deal" but it sooo is.

Growing up and accomplishing what she has is extremely different from a white man growing up and accomplishing it. Even if he grew up in a working class family. The language in the home is a difference and a step or two ahead. And, let's be honest, the color of the skin and the gender is not one or two steps ahead...it's like a few miles (aka privilege).

Again, I am proud of her as a human who is confident and intelligent. But am I also very proud of her for the Latina she is.

Commentary: Don't go to war over Sotomayor
By Ed RollinsCNN Contributor

Editor's note: Ed Rollins, a senior political contributor for CNN, is Senior Presidential Fellow at the Kalikow Center for the Study of the American Presidency at Hofstra University. He was White House political director for President Reagan and chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee.

Ed Rollins says the GOP shouldn't go to war over the Sotomayor nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court.

NEW YORK (CNN) -- Almost everybody cheers for the underdog -- maybe not those born to upper-class standing with great advantages, but those of us who weren't always want the little guy to be victorious. We want hard work and extra effort to be rewarded. Standing at the front of the East Room of the White House Tuesday morning were two Americans who clearly had started life as underdogs. One is now our president, son of a Kenyan. The other is the daughter of Puerto Rican parents who is about to sit on the highest court in the land. Both were born without privilege. Both were raised in households with little cash, but much love. Both were raised by strong, devoted mothers who worked hard to support them. Both were encouraged that through hard work and education they could go beyond the boundaries of their environment and their class. Somehow the flame of ambition was lit and both became outstanding students who didn't need affirmative action programs to get to the top of their class. Both are extraordinary role models for the next generation of Americans and both will be historic figures. And the important thing is that both President Obama and Judge Sonia Sotomayor never forgot where they came from or the people who helped them move forward to such heights. It was a day to make all Americans proud.

Now we begin a process that might not make Americans proud. The Senate confirmation hearings for Sotomayor will begin in the coming weeks and already the long knives are out. The historic role of the Senate to advise and consent to a president's judicial nominations has become in the last few years a process of "attack and condemn."

Unfortunately, the battle for the heart and soul of the Republican Party that has raged for the last several weeks is now spilling over into the debate over Sotomayor's ideology and judicial temperament. The challenge has been laid down by conservative commentators that "if not now, when!" The terms " radical liberal" and "reverse racist" are being bantered about, with more to come.

Those who have not been able to lay a glove on President Obama, with his 60 percent-plus approval ratings, now think they can define him by smearing Sotomayor. For a political party that lost an election just six months ago by 9½ million votes, the second largest vote margin of defeat ever for a Republican presidential candidate, you would think we would shut our mouths and figure out how to get more votes in the future. But instead we have gotten into a raging debate over the purity of the party and who's a better Republican. Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, Tom Ridge, Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh and even Meghan McCain have had their say along with the new party chairman, Michael Steele.

But a political party is not a religion. We don't get up every weekend and go to our church or synagogue or mosque or wherever else we might practice our beliefs and pay homage to the great tenets of the Republican Party, or the Democratic Party for that matter.
Of all the things that are important to me, I don't get up every morning and say first and foremost I've got to go out and be a good Republican today and spread the gospel and beat up on President Obama and the wretched Democrats.

Like most Americans, I wake up every day and think about my wife, my daughter, my friends, my neighbors, my job and go to work. I worry about my favorite sports teams and whether they won or lost. I do think of myself as an American and thank the almighty that I have that privilege. And as an American, I do worry about the direction of my country and the decisions made by our elected leaders. That is where political parties matter.

Political parties are vehicles to help elect people to office. Elected officials are the name of the game. And what people do when they are elected is what matters to most Americans.
Here is where the conduct of the Republican Senators will have a big impact on the future of this party in this crucial rebuilding period.

Sotomayor will have a lifetime appointment on the Supreme Court. Senators, both Democrats and Republicans, have a right and an obligation to question her and get to know her views. But they must treat her with the respect she deserves and has earned.

Let me state that I am sure Sotomayor and I don't agree on very much. And I am sure some of her liberal rulings will drive me nuts. But President Obama won, is a liberal and gets to put liberals on the court. That's the way it works. Ideology aside, is she qualified? There can be no debate over her qualifications. Her lifetime achievements in the academic world, in the legal world and the judicial world are unchallengeable. If that was the only measure, she would be confirmed unanimously. That isn't going to happen! We are into full-bore political battle within the Republican Party, with conservatives and pragmatists arguing over what are the best tactics to stop the direction that this young president and his congressional allies are taking us.

But I just offer a word of caution. The confirmation of Sonia Sotomayor is not the battle to be waged and it won't be won. No one should be brutalized like Judge Robert Bork was in the 1980s. And no one should be rubber-stamped either.

Sotomayor is not deserving to be on the Supreme Court because she is Puerto Rican or a woman. She has been appointed by the president because she is extremely well-qualified. Judge those qualifications fairly and without malice. To do less will antagonize Hispanic and female voters, two voter groups Republicans must do better with to have any chance of electoral success.

In 1981 when Sandra Day O'Connor was nominated by President Reagan to be the first woman on the court, she was confirmed unanimously. When Antonin Scalia was nominated, also by President Reagan, he was confirmed 98-0. He was the first American of Italian descent appointed to the court.

Sotomayor, if confirmed, will be the 111th judge to sit on the court. One-hundred-six white men, two African-American men and two white women have gone before her. The appointment of a Hispanic-American is long overdue. Appointing another woman is critical also. But she's there because of her own accomplishments, not her gender or her heritage.

Republicans are in a position where we are the underdogs. Unfortunately, no one is cheering for us to win. These nationally televised hearings may be an opportunity for Republican senators to take a step in the right direction. Don't treat her like a lady. Treat her like an extremely qualified American who the president chose to elevate to the nation's highest court.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Ed Rollins.

Short Work Week

2009-05-27T13:36:00.002-04:00

This past long weekend was WONDERFUL. We headed to D.C. on Thursday afternoon, met with a friend of Carlos' for dinner, and arrived at Liliana and Doug's around midnight. Liliana worked on Friday so I didn't see her until the evening when we got back from playing tourist with Carlos' cousin, Caroll. It was so hot that day and I loved walking around. I was happy to meet Caroll and to go to the White House and other DC spots. (I'll post pics soon)

When asked about my weekend by my friend Brian I responded with, "It was great, relaxing, saw almost all of the episodes of Arrested Development, increased my difficulty level of Rock Band, played with the doggies, ate ice cream, saw Star Trek the movie, and slept in ever morning." Sounds nice huh?

It was a real nice time. We spent almost all our time with Liliana, Caroll, Doug (the bro-in-law) and Jack and Ginger (the doggies).

We returned on Tuesday afternoon and I stayed home to unpack and clean the apartment. I figured my next day off of work will be for my family vacation so I decided not to work a half day. So, this week I will only work 3 days. Wow, that makes me real happy.

I hope all of you had a nice Memorial Weekend also :-)

Tattoo

2009-05-21T10:19:00.002-04:00

I need to tattoo my "Don't Sweat Over the Small Stuff" lists on my wrists. Stupid people are really annoying me right now. I even began to plot a way to ruin someone's reputation and career. I went as far to ask a best friend to represent me if that person took me to court. I asked even though I knew I would never follow through. I'm too "good" and "kind".

wow..... typing it out makes me feel even more stupid. I knew it was stupid and way overboard to even think but typing it to share is a whole other story!

I'm laughing.

But still thinking that person is very lucky that I would never do such a horrible act.

A New Day

2009-05-20T11:36:00.004-04:00

I feel great today. I did not feel gross or exhausted when I woke up this morning. I still don't feel 100% BUT I feel great and better than I have in the last 2 weeks. My mom told me Monday night that the last 2 to 3 weeks had been weird and I did catch something, so the 2 together made me feel like blah. Then Lizzie said that last year was huge for me in so many ways and maybe my body is just trying to relax or really take everything in from the full transition. I think both were absolutely right.

When I graduated from college I moved back to Texas to live with my parents in the house that I grew up in. We were there for a few months and then moved to Katy, where my parents live now. The move messed things up for me because while I was adjusting to living at my parents house I had to suddenly readjust to the new house and neighborhood. Then I became serious with my then boyfriend and spent a lot of time with him. I never felt settled. My parents house did not feel like home to me. My mom knew, understood and felt bad, even though I had told her that she shouldn't. I even kind of started looking for apartments in Houston but somehow was talked out of it. I'm not sure if I talked myself out of it or if someone else did :-/ Hmmm... So, starting in the fall of 2004 I never felt complete and at home.

Obviously I had a lot of soul searching to do and ignored it. THANK GOD that I had my one week vacation to NYC in November of 2007. I spent many hours alone and finally had my soul searching that led me to make my big move to NYC just 3 months later.

My studio on Staten Island was God sent. But because I knew it was (or wanted it to be) temporary, I never settled in - in. I didn't jazz it up to my liking, I had only one sleepover (until I met Carlos), Pegah came over a few times.... but again - not that "my home feeling." Now, when I travelled and would be returning to the NY area I did have that feeling of this is where I live. I began to apartment search in the summer and thought this was it - I would finally have that settling feeling. Then, as you all know, I moved in with my boyfriend of a few months.

The move in, adjusting of schedules and making a routine were all easy. Still, I did not have that "I'm at home" feeling that I had been missing and wanting. Then, sorority sisters visited in April and Lizzie stayed a few extra days for special BFF time. That first night she and I were sitting for hours by the windows having a great conversation. I don't know exactly when it happened but the feeling finally came to me... "this is my home"..."I'm home." It felt so good.

So I absolutely agree with what my mom and Lizzie telling me their thoughts on the whole adjusting and transitioning in life affecting me physically. Thanks mami and Lizzie... TQM

Tuesday Afternoon

2009-05-19T16:08:00.002-04:00

I'm in the clear. I was not laid off. Gracias a Dios! I feel bad for my colleagues and friends who were. :-( But things happen for a reason so we must be positive.

Change Subject

I have spoken to / emailed with a few girlfriends in the last few days. When asking about Carlos, he has been referred as: Carlitos, Panda, Sexy guitarist, Pandora, Los.... not one said Carlos. Haha

American Express to layoff 4,000 jobs

2009-05-19T13:14:00.000-04:00

India Infoline News Service / Mumbai May 19, 2009 09:14

The company also suspended management-level salary increases and instituted a hiring freeze at the time. American Express is planning to eliminate about 4,000 jobs as part of a plan to slash another US$800mn in costs for the remainder of the year. The 4,000 job cuts will result in a restructuring charge of about US$180mn to US$250mn in the second quarter, largely for severance and other costs tied to the job cuts, American Express said.

The layoffs represent about 6% of the New York-based company's global workforce. It said the cuts will occur throughout the company, saving US$175mn. The plan follows US$1.8bn in cost cuts, including 7,000 layoffs announced in October last year. American Express also suspended management-level salary increases and instituted a hiring freeze at the time.

American Express has been hurt by rising delinquencies among cardholders, with the US unemployment rate having risen to its highest level since 1983. On Friday, American Express said that its net charge-off rate, or debt it does not expect to be repaid, rose to 10.1% in April from 8.8% in March.

"We continue to be very cautious about the economic outlook," Chief Executive Officer (CEO) Kenneth Chenault said in a statement. "The cost savings will be reinvested in the business to make sure we can take competitive advantage of opportunities as the economy begins to rebound."

Monday Morning

2009-05-18T09:26:00.004-04:00

It's Monday morning to a short work week :-) I will be in the office on Thursday morning and then on a bus to Washington D.C. in the afternoon and will work from there (wi-fi on the bus). I might work Friday morning. We're going for the Memorial Day Weekend. We'll be spending time with Carlos' sister, Liliana, and her husband Doug. I'm excited to see them and their dogs, and to play Rock Band.

Today might be a tough day here at work because of layoff announcements. I think I am safe but won't be sure until my leader tells me. I'm not concerned for myself because 1) it's better to stay positive, and 2) I have no control over it anyways. I am concerned for others because most people aren't positive or have tough times transitioning.

Anyways.... I had a nice weekend with Orlando. We never went above 15th street. We stayed in our and the surrounding neighborhoods the whole time. He couldn't get over how many good looking women there are here, the tons of cabs or how there is food all over the place. We did some fun things: Nuyorican Poets Cafe, bar where you get a free personal pan pizza with every drink you buy, the show Stomp, all you can eat sushi, the Dessert Truck... and more. It was a nice :-)

I don't feel ill - ill, but I'm still getting lightheaded and have to pause for a moment so I don't get dizzy. I don't know what I want to hear from the doctor - that he found something or that it's stress. I don't want to have a serious illness but wouldn't it suck to hear that you're ill because you are stressed? Hmm.... I dunno. All that I do know is that I want to get back into the gym.

I'm fine

2009-05-14T12:52:00.002-04:00

I'm doing fine. When I wrote my last posting I didn't mean to concern family and friends. I was just expressing that I felt weird, maybe stressed...simply overwhelmed. This morning I told Carlos that many women have this horrible Superwoman complex. Thinking they have to be be good at everything.

I have to excel at work, make a delicious and healthy dinner for my family, keep the house clean, go to every single baseball game of my son, work out, go to PTA meetings.... OR I have to excel at work, work out 5 times a week, keep in touch with all friends, learn how to cook, be a great girlfriend, be a great daughter, do laundry, pick up dry cleaning, figure out finances, volunteer, call back so-and-so, etc, etc.....

I told Carlos that I am not going to be one. I told him "I am not perfect and will not try to be. I will strive to reach my fullest potential but ultimately, I want to be healthy and happy. Not insecure, stressed and exhausted." He said "Ok. Sounds good." Simple response but sincere and I know he understood.

I just decided that I will not sweat over the small stuff and honestly, it has gotten better in the last few months without me even trying. It may have rubbed off on me from Carlos. Yes, he is one of those. A person who does not sweat the small stuff. He doesn't waste time or energy on situations that he has no power over. He doesn't really get mad. He can get annoyed by me - hahaha... Not mad though.

I don't ever want to be in a rut again. What I hate is that this is a lesson I learned from Maggie. Why does it take huge, indescribable moments in life to teach you these lessons? Sheesh.... So, I kind of thought of reasons why I would be allowed to be sad or stressed. I haven't written out the list yet but will and will post it next to our visualization frame to keep me in check.

Reasons why I am allowed to be sad/upset/stressed:

death
big loss (not for materialistic things, such as money)
receiving bad news (but this is only for a very specific time frame)

What I now classify or am acknowledging as the small stuff:

not having enough money; being broke; not being able to shop
being laid off (of course, this is because I do not have children and I have a wonderful family that would never let me starve or become homeless)
a stranger pushing me out on the street
not losing the last few pounds; not looking great in a bikini
not having gchat anymore at work (this one is tough because i love, and now miss, my daily chats with Flo)
delayed flights
the management company of our apartment building not fixing our door (damaged my firefighters when there was a fire) because we weren't on the list - even though our apt is above the one that was on fire. hmmm.... yeah, they're stupid BUT... this is small
a friend being mad or upset with me
making a mistake at work
being mad at myself for not doing something "when i should have"
there is more.....

No more "I should have ....", "what if...", "I wish this....", "what will so-and-so think". I will not sweat over the small stuff. I will not be worried over things I have no control over.

I think if these changes happen now then I will be way better off when I am an executive director of a non-profit, married and have kids (if I have any). Visualization.

Feeling weird

2009-05-12T13:28:00.003-04:00

Last Monday, Carlos went to his manager's memorial service, I left from work a couple hours early because I didn't feel well. That evening I received the text message I was waiting for from Florencia about Maggie dying. Tuesday, I was sick at home, went to the doctor, kept my cell phone to my hand for any calls or texts from Florencia. (I've been stalking Florencia ever since) I went to another doctor on Thursday. I have worked out only twice in the last 2.5 weeks (compared to 4 to 5 times a week). I'm still not 100% but I'm meeting my trainer this evening.

I'm stressed about one main situation. I'm emotional because of Maggie passing away. I'm now stressed over not feeling well and then something else came up today. And my company will have another round of layoffs by the end of this month so I'm trying to stay positive and thinking "not me. not me."

I'm fine but could be better. I'm trying to, and shouldn't be, but am trying to comprehend the pain my dear friend Florencia is going through; and Chris, Maggie's husband. I'm trying to understand why cancer kills and wondering even more why, in the year 2009 1/2, we don't have a cure.

I have a follow up appointment with my doctor tomorrow to go over my blood tests :-/ I'm sure all is fine and that I'm anemic - again. Iron pills...here I come.

Hmmm..... I'm overwhelmed. It will pass though. Luckily I have a boyfriend who makes me laugh and feel loved. And my dear friend, Orlando, is visiting this weekend.

Breathe.

Maggie's Obituary :-(

2009-05-08T10:02:00.002-04:00

Maggie's obituary in the Austin Statesman.

http://www.legacy.com/statesman/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=127047263

If you are interested in making a donation in memory of Maggie, you can give to the Maggie Tree Fund atBaylor Law School. Details: http://oslersrazor.blogspot.com/2009/05/how-to-give-for-maggie-tree.html#links

Last Friday I was planting trees with my company in Jamaica, Queens. My team of 3 planted 3 trees and we got to name them. I enjoyed the project so much that I signed up for the next event and thought "Ooo... I'm going to name a tree after Maggie!" (Before she passed.) Then I find out later from Florencia that Maggie had wanted that. How cool is that? I was right on target :-)

The Adventure has Ended

2009-05-06T09:21:00.002-04:00

My friend, Florencia's best friend, Chris's wife.... Maggie Weaver passed away on Monday, May 4th in the evening. Please pray for all her loved ones who are heart broken and confused at this terrible loss of an amazing human being. :-(

http://thumpers-hole.net/wordpress/2009/05/04/its-over/

Great Weekend Part 2

2009-04-29T13:38:00.002-04:00

Lizzie stayed with me and Carlos fron Sunday to Tuesday. We had so much fun talking, talking, laughing, talking, and laughing. Sunday afternoon she arrived at the apartment with Cindy and we had a good time hanging out, just the 3 of us. It was so nice catching up with Cindy but weird because we had so much in common. Lizzie later said she was jealous. Haha! She's not, she just says that because I told her that a few years back when I met a new friend of hers from her grad school. :-) It's an inside joke we have.

Cindy had errands to run so we went our separate ways around 3pm. Lizzie and I met Carlos at Times Square to head over to Queens for Peruvian cebiche (yes, it's spelled with a b not a v). Carlos was excited to take Lizzie to the underground peruvian restaurant. And he was so impressed because she knew so much! She had gone to Peru a few years ago for a few days and had a lot to say about Lima and the culture. He liked it, I could tell. And, she loved the food! Duh, it's delicious.

Carlos was exhausted from work so when we made it back into Manhattan he went home and we went to Grand Central to admire the architecture and beauty. After we went back to the apartment, Carlos left to the office, and we had girl talk for 4 hours. I know. I had so much fun just talking away about so many topics. We were sitting in our chairs by the windows, had them opened and enjoyed the breeze. We got ready for bed and we still talked for another hour. Hee hee

God is Awesome and Great but he was sooooo good to us on Monday. Being our last full day together He stretched the hours out and the day passed slowly in a good way. What did we do besides talk and laugh? Went to a favorite boutique of mine, back home to drop off bags, herald Square with picnic in tow, Bryant Park for lunch picnic, then the MoMA for a quick tour and purchase of souvenirs, Fifth Avenue for some Tiffany's window shopping, Pinkberry at Columbus Circle, Pinkberry picnic at Central Park, back home, then a picnic at Union Square lawn. Haha... we had 3 picnics! So awesome. I love NYC. We were exhausted and went to bed at 11.

I was sad to say bye to Lizzie. I love her dearly and she is such a good friend that I absolutely cherish. Our friendship in the past 7 to 8 years has mostly been long distance yet we are extremely close and know each other so well. We always have moments where we read each other's minds, shows how much in tune we are. I am so proud of her great accomplishments and the life path she has taken. I am proud to know her and think I am lucky to be a best friend of hers.

Thank goodness Carlos came with me to drop her off at the bus station (to catch the bus to the airport) because he was supportive of me being so sad. I even cried for a second or two. haha..... Awww... I miss her already.

I was back at work on Tuesday at 1. I LOVED having a day and a half off to spend time with my friend and enjoy the beautiful weather in the best city in the States, so yes, I was a bit annoyed to be back at work. I thought to myself "huh.... I kind of wish I was a trust fund baby."

I have to say... Thank you God for everything but today, I say thank you for the great friends you gave me in college.

Great Weekend - Part 1

2009-04-28T14:57:00.005-04:00

What a great weekend! Beautiful weather and sorority sisters! The group of ladies were Lizzie, Melissa, Monica (not me), and Adri. They arrived Wednesday and I rushed over to the hotel after mentoring. I was so happy to see them and wanted to hug each of them for 5 minutes each but kept it at a quick 10 seconds or so :-)

It was obvious that I am in love with NYC and Monica asked me if I was staying forever and was shocked with my answer - yes. I know God may give me opportunities or situations where I might have to move back to Texas or elsewhere but for now... NYC is my current, future, and way into the future home. The crazy thing is that I knew this last summer when I was single and before I met and fell in love with my handsome guitarist. Lucky for me, he also wants to stay. And even luckier for me that we both would like live in Spain for a short period of time. We'll see...

Back to the fun and wonderful visit. Well, they came to see NYC, not me, I think seeing me was a small perk (not for Lizzie though... hee hee...it was a reason). See, Lizzie is a best friend of mine and we hadn't seen each other in 2 years! The girls left on Sunday afternoon and Lizzie stayed until this afternoon so we could have BFF time. I know, it's cheesy but we all need it, don't we? My mom didn't see her BFF from her 20's for over 20 years!!!! That's a sin!

Thursday evening Victoria had us all over for dinner. We had dinner, wine, and fun conversations. We all just love her apartment - one of the best I have seen here in NYC. After we met up with Carlos and went to 2 bars...still good time but nothing NYCish.... Haha.... No, Carlos did have the hook up at a place and our total for our 6 drinks was $19. That doesn't happen here, not even at a casual or grungier bar. We had an early night but the girls were planning to do a lot of walking the next two days so it was better that way.

On Friday, work was awful! The hours were passing the slowest I could ever remember them passing. The weather was sunny, highs in low 70's.... and I was in the pinche cubicle farm. Ugh. In the evening I met with the girl at the Booth Theater to see the Broadway show, Next to Normal. We had no idea what it was about but went anyways and it was a good show with great music - and showed reality and how hard it can be. I recommend it.

After, we went to one of my favorite places to hang out, The Volstead. We had dinner and loved the drinks - Monica and my favorite was the Blackberry Martini. Yum! We stayed till 2 AM dancing and having some free shots from the bartender.... (thanks Mari). Mari hung out with us that night AND a close friend of Melissa's joined us too. What a small world because that close friend is Cindy, someone I worked with during college. Anyways, we had a GREAT time!

Saturday afternoon I met with them on 5th Avenue and walked around, went to Columbus Circle to go to Whole Foods for lunch then went to Central Park for a picnic. After that we separated into 2 groups. My group was Monica, Lizzie, and I. We wanted to walk the Brooklyn Bridge and on route to it (in the subway) while at my station (where I live) we decided to take a quick detour. I was so happy to take Monica (Lizzie would eventually see it) to my apartment (where I am so happy to be sharing it with my wonderful boyfriend... hee hee... Carlos is geographically desirable). We just hung out for an hour or so and then headed to the Brooklyn Bridge. Perfect weather! It was nice walk and great conversations.

That night, thanks to Mari again (hooked us up with drinks on Friday and hooked us up with food the next night) - we had a late dinner at Pampano. Yum! Well... the drink, appetizers and dessert were great but my entree was good but nothing special like the others. Carlos', from what he said, was delicious. I do love an item on the lunch menu there, the pepito. Oh gaw... I love that sandwich. Anyways - THANKS Mari for being generous with your discounts! We all appreciated it!

After we tried going to a rooftop bar but it was packed so we went to another casual loungy bar. We only had a drink and left. It was a quieter night than the previous one. That is where I said bye to Monica and Adri because I was not planning to see them early the next day before they left. (Melissa had other plans that evening).

I am SO HAPPY for these women. I am proud to be their friends and proud of each one for their accomplishments. I had such a wonderful time and was sad to say bye. I can't wait to see them iN October of this year at Loni's wedding :-)

end of Part 1

We're Ready for a Miracle!

2009-04-24T13:38:00.003-04:00

A great Christian song......

Are you ready for a miracle

As ready as I can be

Are you ready for a miracle

The spirit will set you free

Are you ready, ready, ready, ready

I'm ready,

I'm ready for a miracle

Jesus went unto the well

and made the water wine

Raised up Lazarus from the dead

Restored sight to the blind

Jesus man of Galilee

He walked across the sea

He said Greater than this shall you do

Gave the power to you and me

Jesus taught the lame to walk;

destroyed the Devil's plan

Healed a leper feed five thousand

with just one command

Said, He who has ears, let him hear,

He told the multitudes

And blessed be the pure of heart

for they shall see the truth

Blessed be the ones who mourn for

they shall find their peace

Blessed be the ones who thirst

and blessed be the meek

Now are you ready, ready,

Are you ready, ready

Blessed be the innocent

for they shall all be free

Blessed be the miracle

that's made for you and me

Now are you ready, ready

Are you ready, ready

Are you ready for a miracle

As ready as I can be

Are you ready for a miracle

The spirit will set you free

Are you ready, ready, ready, ready

I'm ready, I'm ready for a miracle

Heavenly Father, our Lord and Savior..... we pray for Maggie's cure. Take this ugly cancer away and bless us with her staying here on this Earth for many more years. Maggie and Chris are not ready to end their adventure of life. Please God, we lift Maggie up to you.

In Jesus' name we pray. Amen

Beautiful Weather Weekend

2009-04-21T11:51:00.002-04:00

I was just waiting and waiting for the time to go by to leave this office on Friday afternoon. I told a friend I would go to her yoga school to try out the hot power yoga class and then cancelled on her cuz the outside was calling me. The sun was shining! There was a slight breeze! The sky was blue!

Carlos and I had plans to have dinner with some friends the next night but we quickly changed our minds and met that evening. We ate at an Italian restaurant in Midtown West and sat outside. It did get a little chilly but it was great :-) We went back to their apartment to hang out some more and the walk back to Times Square (where we catch the train back home) was so nice. Night time, excited tourists at Times Sqaure, walking with my arm hooked under my guitarist's.... mmmm... it was great.

Saturday, I cleaned then met with my trainer, Carlos worked, and after, we got a zip car to go to Costco. $300 later we were heading back home to quickly double park the car while we unloaded. We drove the zip car to the garage and even after we purchased so much food, we chose to keep walking around and get a small meal. The weather was great, we couldn't pass it up. The high was mid 70's.... sun shining. Sunglasses, knit dress, ballerina shoes (my non pedicured feet are not ready for sandals). We went to Liquiteria in the East Village and sat there by the open window. AHHH..... It felt so good!

Seriously, the winter was not so bad at first but then it just lingered and got gross. I remember Carolina telling me this before I moved here and I completely agree with her. I am craving the sun and the heat now.

Carlos's family has wonderful news. His sister, Liliana, is pregnant! She and her husband are expecting their first child :-) Aww...... Carlos didn't get emotional but I could see that he did in the inside.. hee hee... I could tell by his face. I spoke to his parents on Sunday and they are so happy. His mom said she was just waiting to become an abuelita before she became too old to run around. I'm so happy for them.

And it's been raining since yesterday :-( But last night when I was scrapbooking, there was a short thunderstorm. Loved it.

Tomorrow - I CAN'T WAIT. Sorority sisters will be coming to NYC!!! Another great weekend will be here soon.

Conquering Cancer Art Show and Auction

2009-04-14T16:00:00.002-04:00

Next Wednesday the 22nd of April in Austin, TX, a group of Maggie's friends will be hosting an art show and auction. The art will be original pieces from Maggie and friends; a nice social event supporting the fight against cancer.

http://www.thumpers-hole.net/artshow/flyer2009.htm

I wish so badly that I could go.

1) I want to help the cause
2) We need art for the apartment
3) Maggie and Florencia are great artists!

4:05 PM.... I can't stop yawning. I'm thinking about not going to the gym...... I must go... I must go.

Hee hee - I just thought of that rhyme from the 80's....well I don't know from when but I heard it first on Punky Brewster. It goes: I must, I must, I must increase my bust. The bigger, the better, the tighter the sweater, the boys are depending on us! hahahahaha

Not enough sleep

2009-04-14T11:38:00.003-04:00

We went to bed around midnight and I woke up at 2ish, then 4ish, then 6:30ish then finally at 7:15 with my alarm. I didn't sleep well. My dreams were going crazy and I couldn't find peace.

I have soooo much on my mind. I would look at Carlos and his sleeping looked so good - I wanted it. Then this morning he was normal Carlos and not I'm-not-a-morning-person-carlos. I was a little jealous.

I just hope to have energy for the gym this evening. Tonight is my crazy workout night - Rockstar Pilates (20 minutes of hardcore spinning, then 40 of pilates mat) then I stay for B.L.T. Butt Legs and Thighs (45 minutes of burning in the lower half, the only way I get through it is by thinking of the summer wardrobe).

Still praying for Maggie

Please pray http://thumpers-hole.net/wordpress/

Blank.. or maybe a prayer request?

2009-04-13T13:46:00.003-04:00

A friend is now in hospice and in a lot of pain from the horrible cancer that she has been fighting for some time now. I met Maggie through Florencia, a best friend of mine. Maggie is a best friend of Florencia. Flo told me this morning that Maggie is now in hospice.... I have barely worked (and I'm in the office).

I can't stop crying. I cry for Maggie, her husband Chris, Florencia, and the family.

During moments like this you seem to appreciate life more or realize more that life is short. And you don't want to worry or stress over petty things. Is that stupid or selfish to think? I dunno.

I think this posting is a prayer request. I want to pray for God to give Maggie a miracle and cure her but my heart is telling me to pray for Maggie's peace and happiness. Pray for her husband.

God Bless Maggie & Chris.

I hate cancer.

p.s. I keep up with their blog http://thumpers-hole.net/wordpress/. When you get a chance please read some postings. If you need a reality check or need to refocus, then you definitely want to read it.

Hmm...

2009-04-12T13:59:00.002-04:00

I doubt any of you will read my Easter Weekend posting. I didn't realize it was sooo long.

Easter Weekend

2009-04-12T12:57:00.003-04:00

Friday was a slow day at work. It was so quiet because no one was in. I do this every year!!! I decide not to take off because I will go to church in the evening. Then when I'm at work, I'm mad because I'm pratically all alone. Well, I almost made it to the end of the day and left the office at 4:30 and headed to see my trainer for a 5pm session. At 6 I rushed to church to change back into my clothes for the 7pm Good Friday service. I read a prayer of reflection during the service and think I did ok. I was nervous at first, calmed down quickly, and then messed up one word at the end. I had't spoken in front of people for over a year now so it felt a bit weird. It was funny that the Bishop had asked me to read because I had just told Carlos a few days before that I was thinking about signing up to read during Sunday services. Calling from God?

The service was a production. Candle lit service, modern dancers dancing with flags, 3 main singers, the choir, the prayers of reflection..... It felt personal. I felt an odd pain of guilt and sorrow. Sorrow for the death of Jesus and guilt that He died for our sins. My sins? Really? Me? ANd I keep sinning? Hmm.... this doesn't sound nice nor fair. Hmm....

Saturday was a nice and easy day. We woke up early and Carlos was out of the apartment for appointments by 9 AM. I made him a lunch because he would be out till 5pm and not have time to stop anymore. Why was I all excited about the sandwiches? I just knew he would love them because I put avacado in them. I also snuck in a little snack of beek jerkey. I couldn't wait to hear how much he enjoyed it. He did :-) When did I become this big cheeseball of domestic love? It's really weird.

I decided to not hit the gym because I was sore from the 4 days of hardcore workouts. I headed up to the Upper West Side to hang out with the Gonzalez clan. It had been sometime since I've been there to just be a couch potatoe. I was there every weekend for the summer; I was the adopted sibling / the free rent roommate.

Sometimes I think "great, people must think it's because I have a boyfriend." That is partly the reason. But there are other big reasons... 1) Winter. I was a hermit crab along with many other people who live up here. 2) I'm saving money and not spending. 3) My schedule has been busier with this new lifestyle I'm trying to make a habit - going to the gym. Sometimes I think how dull my life would be without Carlos. I would have spent a lot of time alone in the winter. I know I wouldn't have been at the UWS a lot because I was tired of not having my personal space but even more tired of taking up too much space there. I know I wasn't a burden but you know how it is to be a visitor. Imagine every weekend! (Pobresita Mari...I would always sleep in her bed - but I did get it for her through connections) And I was not staying at the UWS ever weekend in February, March and April... it wasn't until it got warmer and, more so, when Mari arrived :-) So I know if Carlos wasn't in my life I would have had another boyfriend...and his name would have been Netflix. (I dated Netlfix when I first moved to NY for a few months so I know it would have been easy for us to get back together.)

I am very excited that it is getting warmer. (Even though it's cold today). Because I am planning to go to Central Park A LOT. I want to have picnics, picnics, and more picnics. I want to take my summer books and read. I promise myself that I will go with friends, Carlos or alone.

Anyways, so Saturday I was up at the UWS for most of the day and left around 8 pm. I would have stayed for a little celebration they were having but I had an early morning today.

6:00 Alarm went off

I quickly woke up, said good morning to Carlos and also said "today is a a very important day!" And he said "yes, it's my mom's birthday." I said "yes."

I really thought "yes, of course it is! Birthdays are important and your mom is VERY important and I love her" (seriously I do...she is so incredibly sweet and full of love) But I also thought...there is something that is more important today than anything else in the world. Jesus Christ, our Savior, has risen!"

7:00 Barely left the apartment. Oops, that's my fault. The longer the hair, the longer it takes to get ready - I haven't fully learned that yet.

7:15 Arrived at our church The Church of the Village. Late but we made it for Sunrise Service.

One of my favorite things about the Methodist church is sunrise service on Easter. It's a short service of singing and praise.

8:00 Breakfast at church. Yum. I ate a breakfast sandwich, grapes, and.... 3 muffins (small ones!) I know, too many muffins :-(

9:30 Meeting for new members

10:30 Service

Service was WONDERFUL! An orchestra*, the choir, dancers.... Loved it. I think I had a smile the whole time. I was choked up in the beginning (happens at Christmas service too). Carlos, others, and I were presented to the church as the new members :-)

I am so happy at my new church. I actually learned about it before I moved to NY. I had researched for a Methodist church that had progressive beliefs. It took me almost a year to finally visit the church because I would go with the Gonzalez clan to the catholic church in their neighborhood - that I enjoyed. Finally, right before new year's eve I decided that I would visit on the first Sunday of 2009. Carlos asked if he could go with me and I said "of course" like it was not a big deal but we all know I was grinning and doing cartwheels in my mind. Anyways, I am so happy and relieved that I finally found my new church home. And luckily, it's walking distance from our apartment. No...that is not the reason we joined. I really love and enjoy my walk and practice as a Christian at the Methodist church. And this one is welcoming and open to everyone. I mean everyone**.

Service ended with a bang! I left with a smile and uplifted.

12:15 Left church

12:30 At Carlos' office. He's getting things arranged for appointments. I'm hanging out with him :-)

We weren't sure about today's plan and thought we would be heading to Queens but we are not. I think after his appointments we'll walk around the city. It's a beautiful sunny day - chilly - but still very nice.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter and was uplifted by the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

*Carlos told me that Easter is a big working day for musicians because they're hired by churches and locations of celebration. Big money making day but only once a year.... boo for musicians

**Everyone, at my church, means any person no matter race, culture, background, economic status, or sexual orientation. That's right. I know some of you disagree. But this was a HUGE factor for me in finding a church home. Not only is the gay community welcomed but it is also embraced. There are gay couples at the church, we celebrate new life beginnings (as children), there is a gay pride flag hanging in the social room..... yes, embraced. And I love it :-) God loves all

Christ has Risen!

2009-04-12T12:39:00.002-04:00

Christ has risen!

God gave Jesus to the world. Jesus died for OUR sins. Then Jesus rose from the dead.

God is Awesome. God is Love. God is within all of us.

Thank you God for your blessings, love, and constant forgiveness.

Alleluia!

Happy Easter everyone. May God keep blessing you, your family, and all loved ones.

Partying on a Sunday - good and bad

2009-03-31T14:10:00.002-04:00

On Sunday, after church and Carlos working, we went to his friend's going away brunch. We showed up late and the party had started but we didn't miss much because we stayed a few hours anyways. The brunch was to say bye to his good childhood friend, Jessica, who decided to move back to Peru. She has a wonderful career opportunity waiting for her and we wish her the best of luck. There were a lot of people and everyone was very nice and fun (of course Jessica being very cool herself had cool friends.... including Carlos and I. hee hee). I had conversations with almost everyone and talked about almost everything. From Argentine asado, traveling, this recession, horseback riding, loving Mini Coopers, Colombian arepas, post pregnancy fitness, two-bite brownies to so much more. Hahaha.... seriously, those are just a few topics.

We drank mimosas and bellinis. It was neverending. And there was lots of food but I had eaten earlier so I only ate fruit :-) Oh and 2 cookies.

The Good
You start the week with a bang and the weekend ends a little later than usual. And you drink so much that you sleep like a baby and are ready for the next morning (as long you don't have a hangover).

The Bad
You don't ever wrap your weekend up so you might wake up to dirty dishes, a messy bedroom, and so well rested that you wish you could just stay home. And you might have post-drinking night fatigue later on in the day which will stop you from going to the gym. (Happened to me).

BUT we never party like that on a Sunday. And yes, it was laid back but we laughed a lot, talked a lot and drank a lot. (I don't even want to think about all the juice I drank... so many calories)

The apartment. GAW. Loved it.

Great Weekend

2009-03-28T21:34:00.003-04:00

So the third insult never came and I decided to stop being sensitive. I worked out like a psycho for 45 minutes then came home to my guitarist, so I was feeling great a bit after writing the last posting.

My workout was tough. I left the gym with shirt soaked of sweat - a regular tshirt too, so it's loose. I ran on the treadmill for 15 minutes and ran over 2 miles; then went to this other machine that looks like an elliptical then the old school stair master. After cardio I did a quick 5 minutes circuit of some ab work. I guess I blew off steam?

Which I know is silly. That I get so worked up over nothing. Hopefully one day I will be more mature and not so sensitive.

The dentist went great. I won't be modest. The word beautiful was said a few times to describe my teeth. Hahahaha.... HEY COME ON! Compliments from dentists and hygienists are the only thing I have to be proud of! Hahaha...

Afterwards we had dinner part one at a shady, but delicious, illegal restaurant with Nate (friend of Carlos), Rob (Carlos' cousin) and Megan (Rob's girlfriend). It's Peruvian food. The most delicious ever. I really want to take my dad there. Then we had dinner part two at Carlos' tia's house. We were only supposed to eat a small amount at the shady place BUT it's so delicious we ate more than we planned. The problem is that it's seafood, so it's not like you eat a lot anyways. Anyways, we had a wonderful evening. I always have a nice time at his aunt's house because she is so sweet, caring and a great cook (cooks healthy too).

After sleeping 10 hours - I know! Food coma. I had a session with my personal trainer and she got me good today. Well she always does but today was tough. I really like my trainer Lauren. She's a great teacher, is physically fit, and I feel like she understands me. She pushes me and knows my limits and I really like that. Because of her my workouts are better and more difficult.

In the afternoon Carlos and I walked around the city for 3.5 hours. Started in our neighborhood and walked down to Noho, Soho, Chinatown and walked west to the West Village. The weather was nice and it was kind of romantic. Just the 2 of us. Holding hands. Kissing every once in while. Laughing. Walking into a random art gallery and wishing we could purchase some of the art. Love.

Now we're at home watching movies. We began with Twilight (which I actually liked) and now we're on Pinero.

Ciao

Waiting for the third....

2009-03-27T11:10:00.002-04:00

We've all heard the saying "everything comes in threes." Sometimes I believe in it and other times I do not. I'm believing it today. And I know it's so stupid of me because I need to be more confident and have more faith.

1) I was told yesterday that I do not know how to enjoy a good read (from a book). The person told me this because I keep complaining about the Stephenie Meyer series, Twilight. Basically, I'm on the 4th book and am enjoying the story but hate how poorly written it is. It makes me think we are lowering our standards (and let's not even bring up reality shows - that I also watch). Anyways. Being told I can't enjoy a good read upset me. I read a lot and love books. I don't remember complaining this way ever about a book(s). I have put down books before because they didn't grab my attention but that's it. So I was upset because I felt like that person was judging me. I was upset even though I knew I was judging her (and everyone else) for loving the Twilight series. Hyprocrite? Yes.

2) This morning, out of nowhere, someone special to me basically said "sorry, i don't want to be rude but I'm still iffy about Carlos." I knew this already and had gotten over it. But reading it out of nowhere surprised me and my heart dropped an inch. Not full on broken heart feeling but definitely the first little step to it if I let it - I didn't allow it. I just remembered what I had noticed a while ago and got over it.

I now wonder if a third insult is on its way. I'm going to the dentist today. Maybe it will happen there? We're going to Carlos' Tia's house afterwards maybe she'll say something? I doubt it though because last night she told Carlos "besitos a Monica".

Whatevs... I can't make everyone happy so I shouldn't worry. I'm going to the gym for a quick 45 minute cardio workout after work, so that will help with this weird "what's wrong with me" feeling.

I annoy myself when I get so sensitive like this.

Spring is arriving!

2009-03-24T15:15:00.004-04:00

It's still cold outside and jackets are necessary. Yesterday I was wearing my mittens. It will get a little warmer this week (upper 40's and 50's) but that is not the reason why I know Spring is almost here. My allergies began creeping in last week but today it became official. My spring allergy season has begun!

I didn't take any medicine this morning like I didn't know. Work has been tough. My eyes are chinita, my nose is dripping (sorry, that's gross), my sneezes are loud and hurt me in the chest, and I have a slight headache.

I can go downstairs to purchase some medicine but I don't want to because we have some at home. I just hope I'm better when I get to the gym.

Tonight I will be taking the Rockstar Pilates class and will try to stay for the dance class, R&B Lounge. I'm back to counting my calories because the food intake was out of control. All those girl scout cookies, then we ordered pizza the other night... so bad. So back to counting. I was soooo hungry yesterday evening. I ended up having 2 strawberries, a sugar free jello cup and right before bed I had chocolate soy milk.

No, I'm not starving myself. I'm just counting and working out. I'm trying to work out a lot so I don't have to worry so much about the counting. When I trust myself to make smart decisions with food then I'll stop counting. Good news is that I weighed myself today, almost naked, and I weighed less than I thought. YAY! I only have 7 pounds to go to reach my goal weight. BUT, I am focused more on how my body looks than how much it weighs.

My current mantra... "Summer Ready. Beyonce in yellow bikini. Healthy. Beautiful bride." I just throw in that bride part for fun.

Ummm.....

2009-03-20T10:40:00.001-04:00

It snowed this morning.

The calendar says its Spring.

Get with it Mother Nature.

When Will I Get Over It?

2009-03-19T11:04:00.002-04:00

I am not over that my life has completely, in almost every way has changed from 15 months ago - even a year ago!

March 19th, 2008 - living alone on Staten Island, still unemployed but working temp jobs, my exboyfriend was visiting, maybe leaving around this time. Hmm... this makes me want to write something real personal. egh... moving on. Around this time I received the phone call that Claudia, my first boss here at Amex, wanted to hire me for the contract position. Yay! Start date was April 7th. I broke up with X around the end of March. I was spending a lot of time alone.

Those weekends were nice. I would work out in my studio, go out to the city to explore, go back to my place and watch movies I checked out from the library and netflix. I would journal and look at my scrapbooking stuff but not scrapbook.

Now, I wake up next to Carlos and smiling. I watch movies with him. I work out at the gym Crunch and have a personal trainer. Not journaling much, only if I'm feeling insecure. I'm not exploring as much because I've done a lot of exploring plus I'm tired of the cold weather.

And don't forget about Complicado later in the year. So much change.

I think I'll get over life being so different when my life is more settled. I have a new permanent address (we'll be in this apartment for a few years), I have a permanent position instead of the contract job (hopefully I will not be laid off), our relationship is solid and we only see it getting better. So I guess I'm settling down, right? There is a specific thing I still need to do and might do it this year. I'll bring that up later.

I'm so thankful to God.

An addition

2009-03-11T15:27:00.004-04:00

I am adding a new section on the side of this blog called Look-A-Likes.

There are millions and millions of people here in NYC.

1.6 million live in Manhattan
8.2 million live in New York City (Manhattan, Staten Island, Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens)
47 million tourists visit every year
On an given day, at least 7 million people are in Manhattan for work, tourism, visiting, etc.

AND most of these people are using public transportation (subway or buses) or walking, so you see many, many people.

Seeing so many different faces a day I have noticed that I see look-a-likes of people I know. So the new section (and some postings) will say who's long lost twin I saw.

Here's my list of Look-A-Likes.....

Celinda - my supervisor when I worked in the Crisis Hotline at the women's center. I saw this woman after leaving work a few months ago. I stopped in my tracks thinking it was her and kind of got upset for a second thinking, "Why didn't she call me?" Same face, same hair color, same cute nose.....
Monty - an exboyfriend of mine. This one was just the other night. Carlos and I were rushing to our church to meet with the Bishop for dinner and I saw this guy and for a moment I though "Aww! It's Monty!" Like a pleasant surprise. It wasn't him but when we passed each other I looked at his face and thought "wow.... that really looks like him. well, from the last time i saw him - 6, maybe 7 years ago."

I have more. MANY more but I suddenly can't think of them. I'm at work anyways so I should be working. Ha

Sometimes a Crazy

2009-03-11T09:42:00.000-04:00

I am being very honest when saying that you do not see crazies often. I probably see 1 to 2 crazies every 10 days or so. Sometimes it is very obvious that a person is a crazy but at other times you may be surprised.

Oh and the word crazy is an adjective but in this posting I am using it as a noun. So I am not saying a person is crazy or was acting crazy. I am simply saying the person is just a crazy.

2 most current encounters:
Yesterday - I was walking to the gym and crossing paths with a man who looked 'normal'. He was in casual clothes but kind of on the rough side. Out of nowhere he yelled out some weird words while waving his arms around for 2.5 seconds. It surprised all of us who were right next to him and we all jumped a bit.

This morning - On the subway a man of my height but big just didn't care who he bumped into. He just got in and expected everyone to move out of his way. He kept bumping me and others and did not care. He was being rude but it was obvious he was a crazy.

This posting might seem insensitive or mean but I'm just being very honest about these encounters I sometimes have in the city.

My sweet guitarist

2009-03-10T13:47:00.000-04:00

This was during the holidays. I have it saved on my work computer and look at every once in awhile. Ok! I confess. Every day.

Catch 22

2009-03-10T13:01:00.000-04:00

Working out is going well. My monthly payment to the gym and having a personal trainer is paying off. I have become stronger, firmer in some areas, and have more energy when going up stairs. Supposedly I look thinner but I don't see it. I do feel better in my clothes and regret any bad food choices. That to me is succeeding. I haven't achieved the goal yet but I'm on my way.

I need to get focused and strict on counting my calorie intake. I also want to drop bread and pastas. Not brown rice or granola though. I wonder if that will make a difference.

There's a catch 22 - I am working out frequently and pretty hard core - yay! So my body needs to "refuel." I feel like I am always hungry! Working out more and harder makes you need more energy which comes from food.

Yes, I am drinking water - lots and lots of it. And I'm eating my veggies and fruits - could probably increase the veggies. But it's so difficult to count calories or watch what you are eating when your body is craving food.

And it's a little difficult to live right across from the grocery store. We have everything right in front of us - literally.

Oh and girl scout cookies. Thank God they only come around once a year. That's my excuse when eating them. haha.... No, don't think I'm wasting workouts on cookies. I could have saved myself from calories though!

Teaser

2009-03-09T11:58:00.000-04:00

Saturday was a great great day. We went to bed early Friday night, around 1 AM, so we woke up early around 9ish. I opened the blinds and saw some sunlight and saw something that made me smile and give a miniature exhale - people walking with very light jackets or no jacket and just a long sleeved shirt. Finally! Warmer weather!

PRAISE GOD

It was high 50's, low 60's on Saturday. I went to the gym with my cropped pants and a long sleeve short over my tank top. No jacket. No scarf. Carlos left for breakfast with a friend and then appointments with jeans, a collared shirt and a very light jacket.

After my hard core workout (thanks to my trainer who has taught me well) I walked all the way up Broadway. My sleeves were pushed up to my elbows. Aaahhhh... loved it.

Around 2 we walked to Macy's (about 20 blocks, so maybe a mile) to pick up the thoughtful house warming gift from my parents. Of course we took the train back home because our gifts were a little heavy. After dropping them off we walked to Best Buy.

Walk Walk Walk Walk. In my jeans tucked in my boots, a light button down shirt with a tank top underneath. Oh.... it was so nice :-)

BUT this was all a tease. Supposedly the temperature is going to drop this next weekend.

I think my open letter might have offended Winter, therefore chose to tease me. No me gusta.

Open Letter to Winter

2009-03-03T10:23:00.001-05:00

Dear Winter,

I had mixed emotions when you began approaching in November. I was excited and nervous. You see, this is my first full "real" winter. I was excited for your crisp cold air and the way you make me laugh with your gushes of wind, the beautiful snow you provide (that stays pretty for a while on Staten Island), and the many hot chocolates I knew I would consume. I was nervous because I wasn't sure if I could handle you, wondered if my jackets would be warm enough, wondered if I would vomit out on the street from being too cold and concerned about my commute to work.

It has been great so far. I love my jackets and wearing boots. I love the cute accessories of scarves, hats, and gloves. I'm a fan of chunky sweaters. My boyfriend is a cuddler so I'm grateful for that. My flannel bedsheets and my soft robe keep me warm. I enjoy walking around the city and seeing dogs with their sweaters on and babies completely bundled up. The snow has been beautiful and I always enjoy seeing it fall. Plus, the cold has kept me in at night so it's nice to not go out and party and have quiet time at home.

BUT

Yesterday you came in full force. You gave NY its first snow day in years. I had to get to work on time therefore walk against the crazy snowstorm that in my southern girl definition was a blizzard. We went to Brooklyn last night and I was about to freak out - actually had a mild freak out - because I couldn't get warm. I was freezing when waiting for the train. My loving/concerned boyfriend had his arms around me and was pulling me in to snuggle against him and I was still not warm.

This morning when I turned the TV on and it said 12 degrees outside I almost began to cry. I just swallowed that weird sad lump in my throat. However, once I put on my big coat, my big headband that covers my ears and my mittens I did start to cry. My boyfriend just looked at me with his morning face and hugged me tight and said "ay baby, you'll be ok." I disagreed in my mind. I thought about calling in sick. It wouldn't be playing hookie, I really was having a mini mental sickness over the cold.

Well, when I walked out of the building I realized "ok, not so bad" but I suddenly wanted to vomit. I didn't but I wanted to.

I guess I write this letter to you to request your departure. Just go away. Leave us alone now. The trees and grass are ready for the warm sun just like us humans.

I'm ready to have a nice breeze in the Spring mornings and slightly chilly evenings for romantic walks with my guitarist. I want to open the windows to our apartment. I'm ready to see buds on the tree.

Please. Go away Winter. I'm done with you.

Best,
Monica

P.S. Please be nicer the next time you come around.

My 1-Year Anniversary

2009-02-17T10:52:00.000-05:00

Today is my 1 year anniversary of living here in NY!

This day last year, I woke up in my parent's house for the last time as a dependent of theirs. I had 2 large suitcases completely packed and heavy. I was nervous that one would be too heavy so I planned to take an extra bag for my then-boyfriend to take back to my parents.

Side note: I wrote the word "happy" three times by accident in that first paragraph.

My parents wanted to drop me off at the airport but told them it would be best if I had my ex take me. I thought that would be best because I knew me leaving was kind of inconsiderate (as a girlfriend) and I thought it would be nice because I knew our relationship was about to change big time. I was right.

Now that I look back I would have done things a little different. I would have been honest with myself and others and that most likely, would have saved some hurt feelings and confusion.

This one year has been a tremendous one! I had so much fun in this transition and learned a lot. I can't remember if I said this already on my blog but I learned and grew more this past year than in the previous 3 years all together! Moving away from home to an unkown apartment in a new state, different weather, have no job, etc etc. is a A LOT.

There was learning in every aspect of life. Career, confidence, spirituality, relationships, finances, friendships and more. Then everything kind of fell into place at the end of the year. And i am so thankful.

Speaking (or typing) the truth:

This time last year......
Living in Texas, working in non-profit, in a dead-end relationship, completed a marathon, living with parents, not the best friendship with sister (or not where we wanted it), my planner was full of events every weekend, scrapbooking on friday nights, driving my toyota corolla, praying a ton of times a day, rarely drinking alchohol

Now.....
Living in NYC, working in for-profit and even worse - a credit card company! (but am thankful), not sure if i can run a quarter of a marathon. living alone up to a week ago, i have no planner, i haven't scrapbooked since texas, I use public transportation, pray maybe once a day (i know, i'm working on it), have calmed down from socially drinking (thank you recession), am in a wonderful relationship with a great and wonderful man.... AND there are so many more changes

But basically - my life has changed. I definitely have some work to do to improve myself. Well a lot of work.

I went to Houston this weekend and took Carlos. It was his first time in Texas and he enjoyed the time with our family. My parents were so sweet and were excited to have him as a guest. My sister and Leo opened their warm home to him and he was comfortable in 2 seconds (same happened at my parents). I was comfortable the whole time. There was no awkwardness or me being worried. I knew it would be this easy.

My only concern, and it was a small one, was the interaction between Carlos and the kids. He has close to no experience with kids. He did great and the kids liked him. I actually think they liked him a lot. Leila called him 'Calo'...aww, so cute :-)

So it was a GREAT weekend and I already miss my family. I think we have to wai till July for our family vacation. I wonder if Noah is going to be as tall as me by then :-/

After Valentine's dinner at Lupe Tortillas

I had to show off my guitarist to the family.

Then later that night Leila was showing Carlos her guitar.

Playing the game of Life

Murphy's Law

2009-02-11T10:56:00.000-05:00

Wikipedia says....

Murphy's law is an adage in Western Culture that broadly states,

"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."

It is also cited as:"Anything that can go wrong, will",

"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong",

"Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way".

This happened to me today. I made 2 bad choices. 1) I went to yoga which means the earliest I will arrive to work is 9:15. 2) I washed my hair then dried it. I showed up to work at 9:30.

My boss is virtual and works from his home in Delaware. I work in the company building in Manhattan. He came into the building today (which happens 1 to 2 times a month) and I was 30 minutes late. I didn't get in trouble trouble but he did tease me a lot and I was obviously very embarassed. I lost points.

I should not have gone to yoga OR I should have not dried my hair and just put it back in a bun.

Estupida.

Not a Normal Weekend

2009-02-09T13:15:00.000-05:00

I had a nice weekend but am now so tired that I wish today was a holiday. Friday night I went to one of my favorite places in Manhattan, Las Ramblas, a tapas restaurant on W. 4th. The reason why it's a favorite spot is because I came here with Carol, Nick, Winnie and others when I visited NYC in November of 2007. The tapas and sangria were great, the atmosphere, to me, was very NY and that trip was when I realized my move to NY had to be made in 2008.

So far I have taken a few out-of-towners there hoping they'll enjoy the food and the NYC atmosphere. If you are wondering about the NYC atmosphere let me explain. The restaurant is tiny. No strollers are allowed. I barely fit in the itty-bitty, contemporary designed restroom that sits right next to the kitchen where a handful of cooks are barely fitting. It's on W 4th and is surrounded by shops called "the pink pussycat" or just have some raunchy neon xxx sign. Ha!

So I went with Diana (my friend of almost 4 years now, we worked together at the women's center), her mom and cousin - all were here for the weekend. It was her cousin's first time visiting NYC and she loved it! I think Diana and her mom visit once a year because they love the city so much. We had a wonderful time chatting and catching up. I laughed a lot and would have spent more time with then but Saturday was going to be a busy day.

And it was. Carlos rented us a Zip car for the day (check side notes for explanation) to move my stuff. Move my stuff? To where? hee hee.... I know, this is kind of crazy (or very to you) and very quick (to me, him and everyone else; but we know what we want and it's so natural so whatevs) - I moved into his apartment. Wow...it looks weird to see that and to even type it. Looks weird but feels so good and so right. I guess the saying is true..... "I just knew"

Saturday was a looong day. When you have a car in the city you must take full advantage of it. I went to CostCo with Pegah and our carts were full and very heavy to push. I bought so much that all Carlos and I have to buy now is fresh veggies and fruit. We have enough paper towels, healthy snacks, vita-water, seltzer water (that he likes), deodorant, disinfectant wipes, body wash, tuna.... to last us for months. Haha.... so awesome. So all of that was in the living room. Then we went to Staten Island and packed my stuff and took it all to my new home.

When we arrived at Union Square at 10pm I double-parked the filled to capacity Toyota Matrix, put the hazards on and we were cracking up while running in and out of the building. That living room was a DISASTER area! We dropped the car off and leisurely walked back home. We were laughing about how stupid we must have looked. It felt so nice and calm and there was nothing weird about it. No questions or what ifs...no over analyzing....just a really nice walk back home. Carlos said to me, "Baby! We're walking to our home."

I hadn't slept well in a few weeks and that night I slept perfectly.

Sunday morning was church and then late lunch with Pegah and Arvin (her boyfriend). We had chinese food in Chinatown during Chinese New Year celebrations.... cool for us. We then headed home to take charge of that disaster area. Carlos had to work so I did a lot of it but he would immediately jump up to help me when I asked. I got half of it done and would have done more if we had a vacuum with a hose to use for the space bags.

It will take tonight and maybe tomorrow to have everything in its place. But there will definitely be a few phases of organization to get it just right.

Only 4 more days till I take Carlos to Texas for his very first time ;-)

Side note: A Zip car is an amazing business! You sign up to be a member and if there is a fee it is very minimal. There are Zip cars all around the city. All types of cars and sizes. You can rent it for an hour or a full day. We got the cheapest and paid $113 (with taxes) and had the car all day. We walked to the parking garage, picked it up, and when we dropped it off we just pulled in to the garage and walked away. SO SIMPLE. SO EASY. SO CHEAP. http://www.zipcar.com/

Thank you God for your many, many blessings. I made a new life in NYC and started a new relationship - a serious one that I was not planning - and you have blessed my life with him. Thank you Heavenly Father!

Hitting the Wall

2009-02-04T10:45:00.001-05:00

"Hitting the Wall" is an expression athletes (or people like me who pretend to be an athlete) use. It's when your body gives up during an endurance event and says, "No more! I can't do any more. I need to stop now because if I don't, I will collapse and pass out." I've hit this wall once. And when I never hit the wall when running the Houston Marathon last year I was relieved and very proud of myself. I did, however, hit the mall when I ran 18 miles the first time. I hit the wall at mile 9 (very early) and thought I was going to die - I really thought if I don't stop I will die. But something got me through it and I finished it and ate pizza after.

I bring this up now because yesterday, Day 2 of Counting Calories, I hit the wall. LOL. I really did. Here's the email I sent to Carlos when I had my freak out when at the office.....

i'm starving. i forgot how much i hate counting calories. i'm hungry and it sucks.

i don't think i can get skinny unless i'm at the gym all the time. i just need my routine. or am i subconsciously not making a routine? it's just hard cuz i'm tired (from not sleeping that well); i'm hungry now that i am counting my calories; on my spare time i want to be with you....

this is bad. it's like hitting the wall in an endurance event and it has only been 2 days!!! i have to keep with it. takes 28 days to break and make a habit.

and in houston!!! we're going tp eat. we have to. my mom is going to make bunuelos or arepas or both. and chocolate colombiano... and then the asado - all red meat, some with juicy fat

omg

i'm a fat girl. have you read this email? i'm a chubby girl who loves food.

at least my parents are pretty healthy except for the Colombian breakfasts and the Argentine asado.... which we won't have for a very long time so i guess it's ok.

oh no....now you know even more how psycho i am :-(

Ok, so minor freak out. But I survived. I even went to an open house at a college (I am ready to start grad school) and passed the refreshments table that had cookies, brownies and even brownie/cookies (a mixture of both that i call heaven).

This morning I went to yoga and WOW, my body needed it - badly. I haven't been in weeks and the first 10 minutes were awful because my body was so tense and sore. I didn't even know my body was so bad. After only 10 minutes though my body was feeling so good. And I hope that I passed that energy to Maritza and Carlos who I dedicated it to. At the beginning of the class the teacher, Liz (who is amazing), asks you to think of someone alive or who has passed and to dedicate your practicing of yoga to them. I don't think about it I just wait 3 milliseconds for someone to pop into my mind. I really like that because throughout my class when my mind begins to wander I think of my person(s) and remember that I should be passing good energy to them and I am able to refocus quickly.

Even though Maritza and I like to tell Carlos he is geographically desirable because his apartment is in a GREAT spot of Manhattan (we're halfway kidding)....I do think he and were meant to be together. There are just SOOOOO many similarities and we are extremely compatible (even in tiny ways). Actually we discussed one day the list of where we are not compatible or do not match. The list was very short. Anyways, I also think it's weird how his apartment that he loves so much and takes great pride in (he owns it) is in a favorite spot of mine - Union Square. I love the park, the stores, and the neighborhood. So how lucky of me to have met a guy who lives there!

And my yoga place is in Union Square so this morning I woke up at 6:50, got ready real slowly, and was there at 7:10, 5 minutes early. It's so awesome and waaaay better than waking up at 5:55 AM to make the 6:20 ferry and barely arriving on time to the class.

I am happy :-)

February already?!?!?!?

2009-02-02T14:44:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe it the 2nd month of the year already. The time has flown by way too quickly. How are we supposed to get anything done? I don't get it. And what's unfortunate is that I am an adult. I'm 27, 3 years from turning 30 so I'm in between a young adult and just adult. Next year is my 10-year high school reunion!!! I don't think I have accomplished enough. Hmm....

Today is the day I officially started my healthy eating program. I am counting my calories and logging all food intake on www.caloriecount.about.com. Carlos joined also (well I created his account). On this website you log what you eat and the activity you've done. Activity is everything from getting ready for the day, washing dishes, walking to work, working out, and even making out - heehee. How much do I want to lose? Please don't tell me it's too much or that I don't have to. My trainer (that's right I got one! I can barely afford it but I need the extra motivation and education) thinks my goal weight is good one. And to be honest I don't need to lose 13 pounds to be happy, I just want to happy and confident in a bikini.

Work is going ok. I am lost. This is such a big learning curve for me and I need more help than I like. Thank goodness the other sales coordinators are very nice and supportive and are mentoring me :-) I miss the non-profit world though. I miss it tremendously.

I think too much. And my boyfriend hears a lot of what is on my mind. I think I amuse him with all my random thoughts. He LOVES what we call "psycho" daydreams or thoughts. These are daydreams of he and I in the future. It can be anything from bumping into certain people, to winning the lotto, to traveling, to getting married (i know...psycho)..... he calls them psycho but he loves them and asks for any new stories I may have.

Saturday I had a birthday get-together for him and while we were running errands I began to think how quick this relationship happened and how soon after my previous relationships. Hmm.... I thought. Weird...I thought. Do I really care....I thought. Am I trying to be logical and just over analyzing... I thought. Then we were in K-Mart and I was cracking up because he was being silly. I am so lucky....I thought. And realized I need to allow myself to be happy and realize God gave me something special and not feel bad about it. Easier said than done but I'm trying.

I'm going home for Valentine's weekend! And am taking my Peruvian guitarist with me :-) My mom is real excited to have Carlos there. She hasn't said those exact words but I can just sense it from her voice and that make me so happy and warm inside. Wow, my mom really likes my boyfriend - Success! (For now that is, I hope he doesn't mess it up. lol. I can't think of how he would but nothing is impossible). And I am so happy to see the kids. The last time I saw them was for like 5 minutes in September and that was not enough time.

Plans for that weekend? Be with family! Going to kids' basketball games Saturday morning; family Valentine's dinner that evening, back to Conde's house to play games; Breakfast at Denny's on Saturday maybe? ha..Carlos really wants a Moon Over My Hammy..I dunno...that's the Indiana in him (where he went to undergrad). I'm going to try to take him to my favorite park and possibly go for a short run. My dad will definitely make asado (YAY!) too.

K....must get back to work. I am not slacking! I was waiting for a response in order to get work done and I have now received it.

PEACE.

2 Birthdays, 1 Trip, and much more

2009-01-26T11:10:00.000-05:00

I haven't updated my blog in a loooong time. My bad. I'm so lucky to have friends who actually want to keep up with me - or maybe just living vicariously through me - who knows. Either way I do think I am lucky to have such great friends.

I can't believe that the end of January 2009 is approaching! The first month of the year flew by. Will the next 11 months fly by? This realization came to me last night when I was going to bed. I haven't even really started on my 2009 goals. Yes I have started but with baby steps so this week my energy needs to change - will change.

The title to this posting is 2 birthdays, 1 trip and much more. The 2 birthdays were my own and Carlos's. I was on the 12th and he was on the 23rd; and I liked having our birthdays so near each other. It was fun and cheesy to be spoiling and loving each other in exaggerated ways for 2 weeks. Hmmm...I wonder if it will always be like that. I wonder what you married women are thinking right now.

My birthday celebration was a lot of fun. We went to a karaoke club and had a private room and it everyone had a good time. We went to bed super late but still woke up for church the next day - so yay for us! The day of my actual birthday I went to work and was wonderfully spoiled with flowers being delivered to me from my parents and Carlos. And a nice gift from my sister and her clan.

Carlos birthday was celebrated on his birthday (on a Friday) in Queens with his family and parents. We will be celebrating with his friends this Saturday and I will be introducing everyone to Aguardiente- hee hee - and the game Mafia.

Oh, I turned 27 and he turned 32.

The trip was 2 weekends ago, the weekend of the Inauguration; we went to Washington D.C. But not for the inauguration festivities, we went to visit Carlos's family. We stayed at Liliana and Doug's house; his sister and brother-in-law. Liliana and Doug's house is like my sister and Leo's - they have EVERYTHING. Including Rock Band which I can never get enough of. I was bad on the guitar and of course Carlos was great at it. I was ok at the drums and Doug was GREAT at the drums.

That weekend I fell in love with another man. His name is Jack and he's a Jack Russel Terrier. I think he loved me too but he's a dog so maybe he didn't.

We came back on Monday, MLK day and I was sad not to stay for the Inauguration but I had to work on Tuesday. We took a big charter bus to DC and back and watched The Godfather on the way and The Godfather II on the way back to NYC. Now.... I have always though 'what's the big deal?' 'why do people love it?' etc, etc. My feeling for the movies...... i loved it. Haha.... OH MY GOODNESS...now I know why people are crazy for it. They are really good movies! I liked the first one more than second BUT really really liked the second for the background/history part of the actual Godfather. (Just to be clear...this was my first time seeing them completely....I have only seen the movies in sections and on tv so you don't get the full effect.)

Today Carlos's parents are going back to Lima, Peru. They were in NYC/D.C. for 5 to 6 weeks. I had a wonderful time with them and am actually sad that they are leaving. They remind me of my own parents. They're fun to hang out with and his dad is a very funny guy. His mom is a complete sweetheart and I'm sure tons and tons of people love her. Yesterday, Carlos and I took them to our church and they really liked it. It was different from what they are used to because it's a Methodist Church and it's progressive/liberal. The Bishop cheered for Obama and introduced the newest member of the church, a baby, who has 2 moms (i.e. gay couple) - so there you go. A very progressive church and I LOVE IT. It's exactly what I've dreamt about.... a church that praises Jesus and really loves everyone no matter what (this includes not judging or limiting what the gay community can have/get).

After church Carlos had an open house so he left and the 3 of us went to Serendipity. Later we met up with Carlos and we went to Queens to go to a speakeasy. Ha...ok, not a speakeasy but it's a secret Peruvian restaurant.... an illegal one. Basically it's a woman who was absolutely blessed with amazing cooking hands and she has a restaurant at her home. It's not registered, has no sign, does not advertise, etc. You can only learn about it if you're told by someone. And supposedly people are very secretive about it. Honestly - one of the most delicious meals I have ever had.

I'll be better at keeping up my blog. Today everything is getting back to normal. Even with work so I'm getting back to my routine :-)

New Year and 2 Very New Beginnings

2009-01-05T20:44:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I can't believe 2009 is here!

This year is going to be dramatically different from last year for 3 reasons.

1) I'm in a new relationship

2) I have a new job

3) I'm settling down here in NYC

My relationship with Carlos is great. I'm actually very surprised that this has happened and find myself very lucky to have found him BUT also because I've kind of been a lucky girl in this subject. I've just learned a lot because of past relationships and because of great girlfriends (and a sister) who give great advice and/or thoughts. Carlos is wonderful in so many ways and am looking forward to see what God has planned for us.

New Year's Eve was fun and this picture below is of us at the beginning of the night. We ended up having a party at his place and it was a great success. The countdown was fun and the New Years kiss was GREAT.... heehee. You've gotta love the New Year's kiss :-)

On New Year's Day we had our first meal of the year at a favorite restaurant of mine, Pio Pio. Which happens to be peruvian so, yes, my Peruvian guitarist loves it too.

A short and silly video.

Oh yes...and my new job. I am now a permanent employee of American Express!!!! YAY! What a blessing and gift from God that I found a permanent job at a great company during this economic crisis where thousands and thousands of people are searching. I am thankful and excited to start this new position and know that I will succeed in it.